Which is why he should shift to two penises placed tip to tip in a horizontal fashion, thus eliminating both up and downstrokes, replacing them all with lateral strokes.

Shouldn't anything off the Beatles' "Magical Mystery Tour" (or from their own impressionist phase) have been excluded in that case? That seems like a pretty arbitrary restriction.

Can…I use this chair?

So was Beck just automatically disqualified because otherwise all 10 entries would be his? Until there's a Killers equivalent of the Becktionary, I call foul on this whole thing.

If you give the guy some juice to go with it, he's going to want to do some weird stuff. With the juice. And maybe a dwarf.

LOUD NOISES

I think that qualifies as philosophical Darwinism.

Yo soy el Grooto

I dodged that draft by moving to Canada, where all the windows are firmly shut.

Won't somebody please think of the children?! (Obviously not nude though, you sickos)

So you're saying she's a Mexican?

Confirmed.

The Canary may also consume the con carne, but never concurrently.

Compromise: it is morally wrong to not allow a sucker to buy a con man some chili con carne.

He had a swimmer's bod like nobody do, how could he have an issue with sexy Jesus?

Sandworms would change all of that. They're the cure to what ales the pre-modern Madden.

Except for vertical poles. You'd have to invert or some witchcraft.

You say that, but I'm pretty sure they could mod them indefinitely. Or until the NFL changes the rules to allow sandworms as linebackers. Then you need a code change too.

I could time travel to be the first, but I won't. You're all welcome.

People with cancer are so self-centered. I mean, if you pronounce it differently Leukemia just sounds like an Italian guy saying "Look at me-ah".