Jesus Christ...that comment is just INXS..

Use a spotter, people. Safety first.

Co-signed, Michael Hutchence.

What percentage of people masturbate for the last time realizing they are doing so?

“Man punches man whose job is to punch other men”

Also enraged was his other brother Dirrell.

The suckerpunch came from Dirrell’s uncle, Leon Lawson. According to Jim Gray (not 50ShadesOfJimGray), Maryland police are looking for him and once he’s found, he’ll be arrested.

“Sorry I spent it all on weed and cheap beer.”

I’m sure the old man is happy that you not only listened to his teachings; but you actually used them and they worked out for you.

Is it really a rifle it has no rifling? or barrel for that matter.

Um, if it had nothing to do with the city, then why is the T-Rex short for Torontosauras Rex, idiot.

Now they can all start complaining behind each others’ backs about how much their co-workers make. I’m sure that won’t cause any workplace tensions at all. Nope.

The staff writer with 3 years experience makes more than the senior writer with 26 years experience?

I won’t insist it should have won or anything, but Andy Brandy Casagrande’s great-great-great grandparents were assholes. 

And somewhere Dick Trickle and Rusty Kuntz are opening another bottle of champagne.

Totes

Pretty sure Sgt Slaughter wrestled Sultan McDoom in the early 90s...

I thought you said this was about the Marlins. I wasn’t expecting to see the Twins.

Smart idea by those people in neon to the left. They probably told their friends and family to be on the lookout in case the camera happened to find them RIGHT BEHIND HOME FUCKING PLATE

Well that’s different. Usually the biggest boob you see at a Marlins game is Jeffrey Loria.