During grad school I worked in a parking booth at the university hospital. It was usually a great job, I always took night shifts so that I was basically being paid to study. Nothing ever happened, really.

My boss sat the entire company down one morning in the boardroom for a very important meeting.

I mean, it's awful, but I get it. Not that they are the same, but I always think that if I were to ever develop Alzheimer's, I'd probably quietly off myself.

Jessica, please consider this a request for an official Evening of Squee across all kinja platforms when this is over. With Denton's blessing, you get to scour the internet looking for nothing but things that are deliciously weird, delightfully heartwarming or just flat out fun.

A friend used to do IT work for one of these streaming places. He had long hair and mentioned to the owner that he was thinking about cutting it off. The guy said, "Don't do it! We'll announce it on the site and I'll have a nude model shave your head on a live stream." They got like thirty people watching.

Can you rent a fancy dress Malcolm Reynolds and Kay Lee Win costume? My gf and I are kind of huge Firefly fans and it is our joke dream to show up at the reception dressed like that. Only our friends would get the joke.

Yeah. I caught my father (who is Canadian) bitching about how natives don't have to pay taxes and my response was:

I kinda want to start hanging outside Atlanta Braves games in a suit and whiteface and be bad at dancing and hand out packs of saltines.

Everybody knows mercury causes sluttery.

Pockets. Pockets in your pants! Pockets in your dresses! Pockets in your skirts! MOTHER FLIPPIN HIDDEN NINJA POCKETS TO STORE YOUR SHIT.

how about button down shirts that are sized according to bra size and waist size? For example instead of my usual large size shirt, it would be 36D / 30.

On the flip side, though, your short term memory is shot.

Team Dog

Holy mother of shits, if it wasn't before it most certainly will be now.

The only acceptable response other than getting his ass fired would be for one of the employees (ideally male for comedic value) to walk gingerly up to him, tap his belt buckle a few times, then stand there expectantly.

I wonder what the population of women in women-only prisons is? I bet it's higher.

why do people seem to think that learning self-defense and teaching men not to rape are mutually exclusive? no one is blaming the victim if she gets rape, anything she can do to protect herself is good. also no one is blaming rape victims for not knowing self defense. we can try to teach people not to murder or…

Grad school, winter break I go to visit a friend from college. We end up crashing at her boyfriend's place one evening. Her boyfriend's roommate was a Marine, had just gotten back to the states after being deployed for over a year.... Yada, yada, yada, the sex was good but having a man eat out your pussy after he's…

Post a similar comment about how great it will be this summer eating ballpark franks and not the little vienna sausages you had been eating lately. Include a picture of you making that small dick sign with your thumb and forefinger.