A dingo can eat this, Baby.

After all these years, Tommy H. can still stop me dead in my tracks and make me ask wtf???

Got a fine didgeridoo, that one.

“All of Australia” apparently used up all the As, which is why Aron is one short.

I forgot all the stupid crap you hear watching a celtics home broadcast.

The complete package Down Under.

I’m shocked that all of the premature ejaculation jokes came so quickly.

It was actually released 15 seconds afterwards.

The amount of type wasted on Melo the player (as Melo the person seems to be a good guy) is Iversonesque. They serve as two sides of the same coin, where AI was more exciting to watch, but at least Melo isn’t a career loser (by record). The only MVP since 2000 that played defense as bad as Melo is Nash, and at least…

If he had pooped out the football you’d have been all over that and you know it

You’re on Deadspin, motto: “Bears, Dongs, and Poop.” Don’t be acting all high-minded here.

Covering your head as blows are raining down upon you = resisting arrest

“I’m trying to help you. I’m trying to help you.”

They thought that WAS the forger. He’s that good.

He’s just doing his best impression of Valerian and The City of a Thousand Planets.

You’re right. I wanted so badly to play football when I was a kid. I think I would’ve been decent. My mother forbade it. My brain thanks her now.

I watch football differently now... And I dont watch as much. I played safety at a D2 school 20 years ago and these hits used to get me going. Now, I cringe.. The more information I get, the more I wonder why it is we play in the first place.. The human body isn’t supposed to take beatings like this.

Possibly overstated, but I think this is so much closer to the truth than most people are willing to admit.

Exactly. The real issue isn’t that these boxes are going to become wildly successful and actually replace Bodega’s, it’s how much money and effort is being invested in reinventing something that is going to solve a problem that doesn’t exist.

That is a pretty close approximation of my facial expression during their 60 second elevator pitch.