PLAGUE DOCTOR MASK OR GTFO

Poor baby! This story just makes me want to give him a big huggie.

Asking because I’m a masochist: what the hell does a “lazy Mexican” costume look like?

Her heart is killing the Great Barrier Reef

“veteran of the force” is what is typically written. I just shorthanded it bc the other stuff seemed pertinent.
“3rd yr deputy” could have worked I guess.

“3 yr vet” seems odd to me. At what point does veteran apply? Can you have a 1 year veteran?

HEY NOW #notallbowlers

Since men are well known for sticking their penis in any available inanimate object, I’m proud to see this important step toward gender equality.

The problem with overly sensitive people like you is that one can no longer compliment a woman’s looks.

Machado is one of the most beautiful women on Earth. And she just happens to have curves. Any woman with curves like hers that gains 10lbs is immediately deemed overweight and unattractive to American standards. Either way, she is stunning.

More important than all of this: how long do you think an already opened container of pesto stays good in the refrigerator? Hopefully forever otherwise dinner is looking pretty grim.

The “1 to 10" scale is so worthless. I used to kid about this with my daughter when we went to the doctor. “The worst pain I can imagine? How about being on fire and having needles shot at me simultaneously?” Scaling whatever pain I have is bound to come out as 1 to 2, at best.

Yeah I don’t think domestic violence fits in well with what you’re saying; lying about that goes far beyond fear of judgment.

What?! lol Why are you embarassed to be sexually active? I thought you were going to say you lied and said you WERE sexually active because you were too embarassed to admit that you were not.

When they arrived, Green said he drank Prosecco wine and a can of Kronenbourg beer from the office fridge while the group snorted a line of cocaine from a desk.

I mean, can you tell us who it is?

And how!