I vote "Too stupid to be offensive"

It's not better than my selfie with LeVar Burton. Bitches.

So unfair. I eat in public places ALL THE TIME and the President never drops by. Sad face.

I realized that if I wanted a truly great vitamin option, I was going to have to make it myself!—— This terrifies me a little. Not sure why....

Everyone wants to be black, aside from the burden of actually being black. Welcome to America, people.

Also can we talk about the shit selection of makeup colors? Purple eyeshadow, teal lipstick. COME ON.

DID SHE APPROVE THIS FUCKING BEIGE MONSTROSITY SHE MADE ME WEAR TO MY OWN FUCKING BIRTHDAY PARTY WHERE SHE FUCKING HAND HUGGED ME? DID SHE? I AM ON THE A-LIST, YOU MONSTER! HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT ME LIKE THAT? YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN WILLOW PAPE! YOU ARE NOTHING, KIM! NOTHING!

Why is it so hard for people to believe that this girl actually does do "work" for a significant portion of her day? Photoshoots are work (even if they're self-produced for Instagram. That apparently is a valuable asset for her). Interviews are work. Courting paps while she does errands all day is work. Filming a…

I hope Kim Kardashian personally approved this TARDIS reference

Aristocrats are the original celebs.

I don't want these man servants if they're going to waste that much champagne when they open the bottles.

THE PHONE... THE PHONE IS ON FIRE... WE DON'T NEED NO WATER, cos that would void the warranty.

Great, now Amazon will have to sue Samsung for infringement...

I was on a third date with a guy we'll call Joe. I hadn't had sex for a while and had offered on previous dates, but he wanted to wait, so I respected that. We go to the house that Joe is housesitting at for friends and start making out in the bedroom. I rip all of my clothes off in one smooth motion, tossing them to…

Edited to give you a preview before tl;dr: this is the tale of a man called Barfsnatch.

The first time is the worst time. I was 17 and this guy I worked with 'dared' me to sneak into his house and do it with him (he was a virgin too). I told my mom I was staying at a girlfriend's house and then snuck into his parent's house undetected and into his bedroom. We were both too awkward to just start making…

Mark, I think I would rather take my chances having my face on fire than drink a Bud Light, but to each his own.