The Jezebel editorial team have a better track record with that. Maybe she was going for satire? But if she was, it wasn’t obvious enough.

all of these things please.

did I ever tell y’all that my boss built me this shoddy lean-to like cubicle in our warehouse, so my walls are all 2by4s and metal siding. There is no natural light. So my best friend got me a large painting of a scenic river and added a pink squid tenacle coming from the water and UFOs in…

I was into it. Chuck Bass:Serial Killer was pretty exciting for me.

The writing on that one is the BEST. I lost it at fleeing the great Fucks Famine of 2015.

OH GOD. I haven’t even finished reading but that Funky Town story has brought actual tears to my eyes.

I have to show mine off because it was my favorite part

As a paleo food hipster I wanted to try them. As a bottom I thank you for the warning.

Easily the best thing to come out of Michael Ian Black’s mouth since Bradley Cooper.

I NEVER THOUGHT PAYING IT FORWARD PIZZA WOULD MAKE ME CRY SAD TEARS BUT HERE I AM, CRYING. OVER PIZZA GENEROSITY, THE KINDEST GENEROSITY OF ALL.

Not to detract away from the rapes and murders because those are awful, it was nice to read that she was heard by the authorities and the judge didn't just throw her into prison and that the system worked for her. I super fucking needed that today.

“Michelle and Ryan’s nups, which took place on a remote island in Thailand that could only be accessed by “traditional wooden long-tail boats,” had everything: escort cards calligraphed atop “foraged river rocks,” hand-dyed silk flags for no reason, food poisoning, bridesmaids that knew how to sing, and macaque…

I think the conclusion you jumped to there is completely valid. This is terrifying.

All my friends are dead of dysentery. :(

This isn’t new, it’s just new technology. Back in the day, I sent a carrier pigeon who ended up getting lost and flying west instead of east, and the result was a beautiful, long, sustained pigeon-exchange. We celebrated our seventeenth anniversary in August.

Lots and lots of caffeinated crotches.

#notalldrugmurdering

Look, I don’t want to step on too many toes with another one of my controversial opinions but I think drug-murdering is wrong.

until her boyfriend gave her up to the authorities

If anyone can think of any reason why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony, please passive-aggressively blog about it right now, right here, during the ceremony, with your champagne gold iPhone 6, which is so last June anyway because the rose gold iPhone 6s is where it’s at now.

Using science to discuss scientific topics?