Ten thousand years from now, white people are going to be spoken about like vampires. Mythical, evil beings who Future Humanity — a humanity consisting only of people of color (including billions of augmented humans)— won’t believe ever existed. “No people could possibly be that evil,” they will say...

This almost makes up for not giving him the Emmy in 2006 for the Beirut episode of No Reservations!

I wonder if Google could help you figure it out?

Chris Cuomo: “Mr. Guiliani, do you indeed wear diapers?”

There’s nothing exploitative or predatory about paying a consenting sex worker for sex. You’re the one objectifying them by assuming they have no agency in choosing their profession.

Oh, I don’t want their terrible, terrible deaths to be alone. I want them to die screaming for help, with someone easily capable of providing that help standing just out of reach, dispassionately watching them go.

I think we can all agree that spending that much on any edition of a book would be considered Austentatious.

Aretha Franklin was notorious for being a controlling perfectionist.

“a 15-minute set that touched on what [club owner Noam Dworman] called ‘typical Louis C.K. stuff” — racism, waitresses’ tips, parades.”

E) Bragged about his epic booger he just blew out every episode

Wait, wait, Dan was supposed to be a DRYWALL CONTRACTOR? I NEVER would have guessed this, seeing as how he never once A) came home covered in hot mud and drywall dust B) wandered around saying ‘Holy shit my hand hurts so much, can you open this jar for me?’ C) Got an early morning call because everything on the job…

6. She’s murdered by someone who mistakes her for an undocumented immigrant.

Hollywood is being incredibly stupid. The studios should be drowning him in cash offers large enough to make his head spin. Has Black Panther and Crazy Rich Asians taught them nothing? People want to see themselves on film and they will give you all of their money for the chance. Not to mention Idris Elba is a world…

Another! Another!

Happy birthday to the late, complicated, frequently insufferable Princess Margaret.

“The Trump National Hudson Valley? Why, she died on the way to prom night 50 years ago…”

To be fair Paul Rudd, Picasso was also a twat.

Rep Diane Black, one of Trump’s most fervent supporters from the beginning, lost her bid for Governor of Tennessee lastnight!!! I am FILLED WITH GLEE. She was a pretty prominent politician and had a definite future in House leadership, but she abandoned her seat in order to make this run. And she fucking failed. And I…

Re: Lena Dunham

Thank you, Chris Pratt, for voluntarily removing yourself from the debate on which Chris is best.