TWO more? I think one more and I wouldn’t have any more of a lifetime. Eff that noise.

“the spirit that scared you as a child meant you harm, and you will have two more such visitations in your lifetime.”

Not my story personally, but from a friend:

I’ve still not heard anything that is even remotely as scary as the “Look at Me” one, but every year I look forward to you wonderful commenters trying to best it.

“Tuna? Why thank you, don’t mind if I doooOH MY GOD.”

is it a left shark or a right shark?

I wished for an October Surprise. This is like a month of Halloween. Like, after a few days, it’s not fun, anymore. You ate all your good candy, you have a stomach ache, you have to figure out what to do with the shitty candy, and your parents won’t let you take off your costume or wash off the day’s old makeup.

My favorite version of this recently was Rush Limbaugh putting his foot straight into it by implying that people are flying off the handle by calling what Trump bragged about in the pussy-grabbing tapes being sexual assualt. He tried to get all ‘crazy liberals with their political correctness’ about it, but what he…

Where HAS Palin been lately?

“Bill Clinton said ‘retarded’ in 1983. That’s much worse!”

Yeah, i was like “I am looking at her. What’s your point.”

Oh, come on. He didn’t say anything about this girl he wouldn’t say about his own daughter.

Pure liberal propaganda. Trump loves women. He has great respect for women. All of the women. Except the fat ones. But I’ll tell you women respect him right back. The best women respect him and none of the ugly ones. We’re going to defeat Isis and bring back women.

My poem to Billy Bush:

If you are suggesting we nail Donald Trump’s feet to bicycle pedals & whip him repeatedly . . .

Raise your hand if you have used this move on your creepy relative. ✋

I believe them, but I also think they’re assholes for enabling, protecting, and defending the exact breed of predator they identify Bill Clinton as.

Well, that clinches it. I won’t be voting for Bill Clinton in the 2016 election.

So Donald Trump thinks women are just there for his personal pleasure?

That’s why I slept with my Dad’s marching band baton until I lost it in a move when I was like 25. It was a big stick with a knob that I covered in glittery nail polish. I figured if anyone came for me I could bop them on the head pretty hard.