Plus, a “Christmas top, jeans and a pink tutu” is the best outfit ever and should be everyone’s top choice.

The kid in the picture is wearing shoes. He isn’t that stubborn.

When I visited London my American accent drew nothing but delighted comments, as did my explaining that I was from Washington State while my mother (who was with me) was from Washington D.C. My favorite was the bartender who exclaimed upon hearing I was from Seattle, “Ah, Fraiser! With the little dog!”

I’d say that even if he complied with all of the above, dump his ass anyway.

So, this guy effectively:
1: Accessed your account without permission.

“never being the first one to break a hug with someone you’re interested in”

Unless they both read this and now neither want to let go.

#foreverhug

can you explain it?  i don’t understand.

Here’s a cleaning tip I use with my kids as justification as to why they are not allowed to have food in the living room, or their rooms. Disclaimer, I lived in a rental for 8+ years and it was rental carpet. Finally bought the house as my own and got new carpet throughout the entire house. It was fucking disgusting.…

In general don’t ever give anyone a hard time about something they have zero control over; their laugh, a lazy eye, a birthmark, etc. 

Probably with the intention of sharing the humor with you? 

woah woah WOAH! You do know that if you say the words ‘Elizabeth Hasselbeck’ three times she appears and comes back to haunt us.

My favorite Meghan moment came on Real Time with guest Paul Begala. Talking about a political event she said she didn’t know about it because she wasn’t born yet. Begala came back with “I wasn’t alive during the French Revolution but I know about it.”

To me Ms. McCain is the textbook definition of white privilege.

People are so vexed by tall women wearing heels. It’s so irritating.

“What are you, like 5'11-6'?”

Have you been around the American flying public? I beg to differ. 

Probably partially, but I do agree with the sentiment. You cannot kill all germs in the rest of your life forever, and in fact, trying to do so is more dangerous to yourself because you will not be building an immunity.

vodka

Aren’t we supposed to be exposed to germs in some fashion or another? This is why the human race is full of weak little sissy folk who wander around with hand sanitizers, baby wipes and sprays and that bullshit. It’s really fucking pathetic. So what that you shared a blanket with a stranger... big fucking deal. Tired…

I hope her cunt mother goes to jail and loses custody of this girl and any other children she has forever. She doesn’t deserve to be anyone’s mother. 

Go ahead and try that shit, I’ll take the difference out of the tip.