I believe Frances still has the belt.

So you are telling me a right winger is ignoring the facts in front of him to believe his own version of reality? Totally unexpected, dude.

C’mon man. The Knicks gave Joakim Noah $72MM, and everybody knew he was already a rotting corpse. If nothing else the Knicks would have paid you more than $5.3MM a year.

The best part is when she fell through the ceiling. 

I think about it all the time. And it still gives me the “angry tickles.” Just makes me furious. And rock hard. And confused. But my wife, who I lovingly call “Mother”, says I’m getting better.

Three games.

“I’m sorry to the Uber driver for the position I put you in. It is uncharacteristic of me”

But wait we need to know what Ned in Clusterfuck, Nebraska thinks about this. We should also talk to Barney & Zeke in Dipshit, Iowa to get their opinion on how this NY coastal elite will contribute to them living off of NYC’s tax money. Already people are shitting on this as some kind of failure for Pelosi and…

+1 Dr. Rockso reference.

Counterpoint: He should’ve been a first-ballot unanimous selection and is righteously petty about it.

Emmitt Smith: So that’s why they call it an “oldbitchuary.”

That’s why LeBron isn’t the GOAT.

Because MJ would have gutted Smith and feasted on his heart for all to see if it was his team.

He lived long enough to be the villain.

This is one of the dumbest takes I’ve read here. Sportswriters just in it for the free tickets? Take a fucking seat, jabroni.

Wow, really? That’s a genuinely surprising take. I thought it was a goofy stunt, but it also served a legit journalistic purpose, and is being cited in the ongoing lawsuit between the city of Miami and Marlins ownership.

Still, he didn’t have much to say about why he thought Smith being the victim of a break-in was a reasonable launchpad to question the player’s maturity.

Bayatpour: “Schlemiel!”

So let me get this straight. The officer witnessed this alleged felony assault and then did...nothing? And they decided to bring charges 14 months later?

Jameis Winston standing there by himself trying to look hard after none of his teammates made the slightest effort to hold him back—when it was damn clear to everyone that’s what he wanted—is a goddamned Christmas miracle.