Ugh, pull the plug on this abomination and redo the text as a Hulu miniseries or something. The best thing about the book was piecing together the disjointed vignettes—one prima donna superstar can't be the driver of the entire narrative.

Is everyone barfing again from Lassa fever, or was that recycled glanders barfing in the preview?

We don't know that she didn't tie that up on the way to Epcot.

That's a real BS free-labor-to-the-family-business fate for Page. Like the kid in high school whose parents owned the restaurant, and he couldn't play any sports or anything because he was saving them minimum wage on at least three actual employees.

I mean, the lipstick thing and the panty drawer were weird enough. But silently reaching out through secret toilet sharing was on a different level.

The impact of which was only slightly lessened by the totally apparently preggo belly under Elizabeth's coat.

Pooping in my estranged sister's toilet is totally how we reconnected, too.

Hawk's girlfriend needs to kill her and bury the body where it'll never be found.

I can't believe the Rezidentura really thinks exfiltrating Martha is a good idea. Finding out she's on a one-way flight to Moscow hours after discovering who she's really working for, when she never signed on to an ideology in the first place? For a formerly straight-and-narrow American, at that, even if she may have…

I still feel bad for that poor, despondent baby kicking on a table in some godforsaken housing bloc in Siberia with only elderly Soviet grandparents to raise him.

I agree. Obviously, Elizabeth is the mother of (at least 2 of) his children and his only real "comrade" in the basic sense of the word. But Martha is an asset he feels unusually protective/guilty about and he's already repeatedly crossed lines to keep her safe and even just to avoid hurting her feelings. Compare his…

What were they even reading? Certainly not her personnel file, and how would a general FBI file even have that info in it? Unless she disclosed it herself in a polygraph or something.

Gabriel was judging Philip so hard when he overheard them having sex. Like, "Good God son, you're just making it worse."

Yeah, being trained to "make it real" is one thing, but this is some KGB-superspy physiological control that I didn't know they'd mastered in the '60s, when Philip was but a promising trainee. (And which somehow still works well into his 40s, wowzers.)

If four generations of my extended family came flying down the stairs every time I broke curfew and acted like I'd murdered someone, I would have escaped within the hour. I found it reassuring that Hawk isn't 100% brainwashed — that would have been implausible given his level of exposure to the outside world. Which is…

25 minutes in, and we're still watching the cop's girlfriend's commitment-phobia. She loves him! But she can't move in with him! Because she's gotta be free! Also, some Syrian dude bleeding eyeballs blah blah blah.

"Shut up, you Hitlers!"

I agree, that scene was revolting. And I think that was kind of a risky move on Cal's part - how would she take him seriously as a messiah figure after she'd seen him wank on her knee? It seems he would want to limit the number of followers who see him compromised that way.

Never could I have imagined the line, "and my skin has no natural lubrication" played for laughs. That whole scene was amazing.

Elizabeth's face was fantastic when she was struggling to understand why Philip would be sneaking off to EST and what he could possibly be getting out of it. Her first instinct is obviously to dismiss the whole thing, but she's trying so hard to be careful with him in that scene, given that he looked completely…