I got district employee of the month! I am excited!

You should swap them with me. Except I don't have anything to swap. Unless you want my old backpack. :(

Try mirroring the interviewer.

Oh. I thought retardation was something you were born with, and brain damage was just brain damage. I guess that's why I'm not a doctor!

I don't understand the counterclockwise thing. Doesn't the hair just stick up?

Post hoc ergo propter hoc? One girl supposedly developed mental retardation (is it even possible to develop a retardation? Aren't you just born retarded?) thus, obviously, it must have been because of the vaccine.

End B.S. now!!

My parents use it for their dog with back problems.

Yeah! He just laid there next to it the whole time my mom was gone. Had no clue it wasn't her.

Thanks! This dog was like that too. Destroyed some beautiful french doors at my aunt and uncle's house when he was left alone there.

Maybe that's what happened to her.

If they were patrolling a parade, they were likely off duty. Thus, they probably couldn't respond to the shooting anyway. Usually police who work at events like parades, festivals, sporting events, etc. are off duty officers hired by the event.

The ramp actually works...

This is a good idea for dogs that suffer from separation anxiety. My family used to have a dog that would have complete mental breakdowns whenever my mom would leave, and as traveling is part of her job, that happened pretty often. One time my dad decided to make a 'fake mommy' for the dog. So he stuffed a pair of her…

He looks like such a hipster.

Love and marriage, love and marriage...

I think this calls for a gif...

I live in Seattle and have been sneezing like crazy. Can it be from Hurricane Irene?

I love Queen Helene!! Also worth it: Queen Helene's $3 giant bottle of cocoa butter. Lasts me a year, and I use it on my whole body and face!

When I'm in public and somebody's baby starts crying, I cover my ears. This helps in two ways: I don't have to listen to it, and the parent sees it's bothering other people and removes the child from the room. Win win.