The whole “better safe than sorry” vein of “helpful” pregnancy advice is the bane of my 14-weeks-pregnant existence. I swear these people won’t be happy until I’m just going through life living off of kale and surrounded by bubble wrap. Fuck em, I say, and then I eat prosciutto and blackberries for breakfast.

My question is, is Chrissy Teigen literally pushing John Legend down the row to give that girl scout a cool $100?

BOBBY! STOP!

Yoko’s 25 Things could only be more Yoko if it were a single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man’s hat.

I laughed way too hard at this to be considered a good person.

Sometimes you forgive because it's what's best for you, personally. You don't always forgive for the other person.

She still really is an awful person. Do you know of her career before the tv show? Look into it. She loves accusing Black male celebrities of being gay (cuz that’s so shameful, ya know) and has always been the most mean-spirited, negative gossip spreader about the Black and famous. She has toned herself down so that…

Luckily (and hopefully) your son’s condition was fixed without complication so he doesn’t go on to kill six million people.

Caitlyn Jenner is an asshole, just as Bruce Jenner was. She changed her outside only. I have no idea why she gets a pass on her awfulness.

Once I got accused of being “anti-trans” because I don’t like Caitlin Jenner, but I don’t like her for shit like this.

Caitlyn Jenner SHOULD get more shit for her beliefs than her gender identity, since her beliefs are stupid, and she had basically nothing to do with being trans. So, yay, if that’s the way it’s going down for her.

There’s a line on one of the tracks from the new album where he talks about being off his Lexapro.

Megan Fox and Damon Wayans Jr. are probably hooking up.

This jawn right here... is spot on.

“Jawn. It means anything you want it to mean.”

Being too old to get with the times, I’m just going to yell at the youngsters to get off my jawn. I just assume that works.

No matter what she does, time will march on and take its toll. Eventually you lose the “BOD”. But pizza. Pizza is eternal.

But . . . she’s not an FA. She works on the team that hires FAs. Those are 2 different jobs.

She’s not totally wrong. Feminism IS about getting to choose who you want to be and to live exactly how you want. The problem is that you also don’t get to tell other people who they get to be/how to act/what they should do with their body.......

“detox/overall good-common-sense program”