I know a person like that. She hasn’t been single since High School because she cheats on every last boyfriend with the next boyfriend. It’s like she leasing them. Yet she never has any trouble finding the next one. It’s kind of crazy.

Inexperienced pass travelers...I’m often torn between feeling sorry for them and being frustrated when they don’t know what they’re doing.

Fellow pass traveler here.

My cousin and his wife danced their first dance to Poison’s Every Rose Has Its Thorn. They had a very tumultuous relationship that ended in divorce 25 years later. I was 14 or so when they got married, and even I recognized how fucked up, yet appropriate, it was that they danced to that.

See also: John Mayers “Daughters” for father-daughter dances. It’s about how fucked up his gf is from her dad abandoning her. It doesn’t matter if the other lyrics seem lovely and meaningful, he’s still only telling you because she’s a mess.

You could be washing dishes to Careless Whisper and it would still be sexy as fuck.

There is an unspoken law that if you are producing something about Viet Nam you will play Fortunate Son over footage of Helicopters.

Are you me? Literally the only reason I ever think about having a wedding is when I want to consider the ways I could mess with everyone at an event that they feel obligated to attend.

mr. lurker and I at one point had a “stalkers, pedophiles and deviants wedding playlist” all planned out. You really can put a sizable list together of things that seem to end up on wedding DJ playlists that you really shouldn’t want playing on your wedding day.

I’m convinced that a large percentage of the population has poor listening comprehension.

I am bathing in the glory that is Paul Ryan’s failure today. He is trying so hard to push through his “fuck the poor, make the rich richer” plan that he loves more than anything else in this world. He has everything he should need to make it happen. And it just. isn’t. working. And now he is tied to the flaming…

It’s pretty staggering. If Trump had actually waited and tried to gain the proper support behind the scenes and, you know, actually practiced good negotiation tactics, it’s possible they could have eked out a victory. Instead, he looks like a complete and utter failure.

To all the moronic fuckers who either actively wanted/turned a blind eye to this racist, sexist, xenophobic, and downright vile piece of shit because “he was a strong leader”. Look at your strongman President now, running like the fucking coward he is, unable to get his own Party to vote against the ACA which they…

Donald: this is the deal, take it or leave it!

Makes sense Us Weekly was acquired by the people who own National Enquirer. Both of those magazines have a vacuum seal on the asses of the Trumps. I find it sickeningly hilarious that two undeniably fake news outlets are the only way he gets good press coverage.

Thought this was midweek madness for a quick second.

I’m sure it’s great when it’s your break up, but when you’re subjected to it repeatedly for other peoples’....

I just want you to know that I am taking your advice. Especially about sunscreen—I’ve always heard that “Black don’t crack” but I’m only half Black and I can’t take any chances.

Thanks. I like royalty.

The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar.