History teacher here:

They took the offer that didn’t involve Tim Tebow. 

They never should have covered him with a government-issued blanket.

Map of Americans who thought it was a 1st down:

Cry into your stupid yellow towel. 

Can we stop using words like “controversial” to describe racist pedophiles?

At the very least, Krejci should have to be Boychuk’s dentured servant for a day.

Apple, or Blanket, or Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116

I guess this means Marty is stuck in 1955 forever. Just like Mike Pence and the rest of Indiana.

I’d ride with the beer knights to any battle. The FOAK boys? Need to be shoveling horse shit in the stables. 

Isn’t that just like a new Village People with lots of flags? I see a construction worker, a motorcycle guy, some other interesting characters.

It probably helps that you’re not in a relationship with Reuben Foster.

I would say I’m surprised Dwight has stayed silent and not tried to refute these claims, but he’s always been hesitant to defend and rebound in big moments.

I think the proper ruling on the field would have been to award the Jets a touchback and call it even.

amazing that it was never set on fire and dunked from 40 feet

Fultz is probably the first person to go to the doctor and actually get excited when they find out they’re getting a shot.

It sure makes it seem like Fultz is at odds with the Sixers’ front office, and is possibly seeking proof that his injury is physical rather than mental.  

This theory would also ignore the existence of the Jets and Bills.

I guess the gameplan for this week involves lots of Blitzen