If Trump were impeached (unlikely) there would be a trial and he would need a defense attorney. Luckily for Trump he has this schmuck on his side. It would be great entertainment to watch Trumps face as Giuliani’s defense sinks him further and further.  Time to get out the good popcorn.

Saw her at the Apollo in the early 70's not long after her brother died.  She turned the place out with her smooth, clear voice. Lots of people with tears in their eyes that day.

He oughta leave AOC alone, because we are becoming fond of her. Man, you don’t fool around insulting somebody’s sister.

“I’ma be real to ME” yeah, well go ahead, but don’t be surprised if the rest of us don’t want to watch it. In a stand-up event, some phrases might be missed, but when they show up in print, we can’t ignore them. You may think I’m a fool, but when you call me fool to my face, then I have to respond.

Could you through in a little ADD while you’re at it? The whole highly-distractible thing combined with some dyslexia makes reading exhausting and not particularly profitable. If he “reads” a page and comes out of it thinking about something else, he learns not to bother with the reading thing.  He’s still evil, but…

One of the few times when I think unsalted butter is an absolute must. Maybe it’s because my grandma had whipped butter and my grandma loved me and she smeared lots of whipped butter on my stollen. She died in 1956, but when I have some stollen, I know she’s there with me, beaming as I make a little pig out of myself.

I was briefly glad that Jeff Sessions came out of the senate because it was one less racist with major seniority. A new racist has a little less pull.  His retirement will take him out of circulation except for occasional interviews and ,maybe some stuff with the Mueller investigation.  That’s okay.

So, if he stole the election (we know he stole the election) do you go and arrest the Governor of Georgia?  I’d love it, but wouldn’t that be a constitutional crisis?  Maybe we need one...

I was lucky enough to find one of those U-Store-It places and I paid to park the truck on their property for the night. Even there, I backed it up to a wall so that nobody could take things out of the back.

Jon Meacham said that bush had big hands.

Do you think it’s because Meacham said that Bush had big strong hands or because Mulroney praised NAFTA and environmental regulations?

The Obamas are such high class that they drag other people up with them.

The people of Wisconsin need to launch recall petitions against these individual state senators. Going after a senator is much easier than going after the governor and stands a higher rate of success. They don’t have to go after every last senator. Smack one of them with a recall petition and the rest will take…

I was given a recipe using sweet potatoes and zucchini, eggs, flour (I now realize this was delicious but inauthentic). It called for the latkes to be baked on parchment until the right color was achieved. Then someone gave me latkes with potatoes and chives with sour cream. Life is different now.

Those are some chintzy sandwiches in the header photos. The meat should cover the bread, which means you may need three or four slices to do the job. I don’t have a problem with the white bread, because this is not the beginning of a lifelong dietary pattern - it’s just lunch one day.  Stingy.

Just give him back the tiara and he’ll calm right down.  Everyone wants to star in his own little drama.

49 years old, 6'1" tall and he dresses in a costume like a college senior. Chino pants for business. Really? Or is that just a carefully calculated costume designed to make you look young and just starting out in life. Remember the bow ties?  Little stuff like this adds to his overall insincerity, but it works with…

“...you’ll get 100 minutes of free calls to use over the next 2 months.”