I also wanted to totally disrupt the traditional “morning alarm” system we all use on our phones.

Fuck ‘em, there are no winners here. Rooting for the meteor.

Cosigned.

Yea, I don’t think it’s all that likely.

So far, my favorite finding is that people who drink Jägermeister have no discernible political leanings, but are united nonetheless by the fact that collectively they cannot give less of a fuck about voting.

I have now, without shame or remorse, spent the last 10 minutes trying to find out what kind of bourbon John Boehner drinks—surely it must be bourbon, right?

Seriously, John Boehner doesn’t use a bronzer—he doesn’t tan either—he is just saturated with bourbon.

I say this sincerely: that must be nice.

I didn’t say anything about Santa, smartass.

Amateur...

I hope this fuckery works. It’s shitty backroom politics, sure, but the GOP has earned this moment, and I am looking forward to a potential “Goldwater in ‘64" kind of landslide in November if Cruz actually manages to pull this off.

She knows that, right? I’m hoping that she is referencing the fact that an obvious troll was able to garner 200+ recs and waves of “Watch out for the Bros!!!” support with a comment that is largely nonsense, solely because it appeared to be pro-Hillary.

Franks is good but I find their viral marketing highly problematic tbh

The first embellishment has to do with being a “fellow” at conservative think tank the Hudson Institute—according to the institute’s director of public affairs, he was only an intern and then a contract research assistant for a senior fellow.

The Rams are a boring team without a marketable star, and they’re moving to Los Angeles.

The Tomato thread alone might break 1K comments.

You were made for this comment section.

Also co-stars in the greatest James Bond film ever.

#Jezspin2016

How detailed? Well, when you tell her she’s pretty, she winks and says, “Hehe, thank you.”