“RAINDROPS ON ROSES AND WHISKERS ON KITTENS / BEAUTY CONTESTS AND THE WOMEN I’VE BITTEN / ORANGE SPRAY TANNING AT MY PRIVATE RESORT/ THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO COLLUSION, THIS IS ALL VERY UNFAIR TO ME. OBAMA FOUNDED ISIS. EMAILS, RUSSIA, IVANKA, MAKE AMERICA GREAT. THE WALL. THIS IS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE WHEN DOVES CRY.

Pfft.... more like Curly Joe. These aren’t premium Stooges.

Or like this:

Their sudden concern for fair treatment at the hands of the law is a pretty amazing whaboutface.

Cohen isn’t involved in the defense against Mueller’s case. The only major private lawyer Trump has is Jay Sekulow, who made his name on conservative culture war cases, like the Hobby Lobby case. He has no serious background in criminal cases. Sekulow has one or two other culture war lawyers helping him out a bit.

And wouldn’t it be just the saddest, most pathetic, most wonderful thing to have DJT try and represent himself?

Is there room in tbat daydream for me?

Real sign from my neck of the woods. Not photoshopped. They finally changed the slogan in 2015.

When they shot him.

If you leave the pit in and cover the uneaten avocado half with the empty skin of the eaten half, you’ll be surprised how well they store. They never last more than a day in my house, but they’re just as perfect when I eat them as when I put them in the fridge.

Bless Weird Al, a genuinely decent dude who’s always been exactly what it says on the tin.

...& Weird Al Yankovic

The thing that makes it hardest to enjoy is just how incredibly fucking awful it is

“He always has that expression like he’s smellin’ his own farts, and he’s thrilled about it.”

“William P Corgan”

They have some kind of child molester town in the everglades too.

Don’t forget about the man-eating alligators

It only stinks if he’s not washing it properly.

They are both too in love with the sound of their own voices to change. I view them both as relics from the past. And I’m older than either of them!

Beautiful. Poetic.