All this to say that, you know what? Hate the game if it suits your logic, but these mother fuckers play nearly all year round for club and country in a myriad of domestic and international leagues or cups. The athleticism involved, albeit different than something like American football, is staggering. Respect that…

And then probably refer to their stadium as "The Thrilling Field"

When reached for comment, the unidentified student athlete stated, "It's ridiculous to include me in the current APR score. That score should only take into consideration recent athletes, not players from the 90's like me. I'm a man! I'm 40!"

"discovered" my ass. They banked that shit for later use.

He's a man! He's 40!

And then he nodded, satisfied with his list and convinced that he had hit the basic deal-breakers. Then he put on his fedora, went online, and complained that no women ever want to date such a nice guy like him.

At least he died doing what he loved: ruining a soccer game for everyone else involved.

Hey Mike Vick might have slaughtered innocent puppies with his bare hands but at least he didn't love another human being.

That's a black man in the US saying that Sam shouldn't have a chance because it wouldn't be smooth.

Even if there are downstream effects on the Olympics, they won't be obvious until much later when NBC finally broadcasts them.

Does anyone really expect the commissioner of the Big Twelve to be honest about anything involving numbers?

Someone gravely misinterpreted the request to "Handicap the field."

They will move to Chicago, and whenever they need more money from Chicago, they will threaten to move to Los Angeles.

UEFA: "It will be okay for Russian football teams and Ukrainian football teams to be pitted against one another despite the current situation."
Plane: [goes down]
UEFA: "Okay, okay. Wow. Russian and Ukrainian football teams will not be permitted to play against each other."
Plane: [gets back up; is totally fine]

Snyder's PR gaffe continued when he said the park would be dedicated to the legendary Indian skater Tony Hawk.

"Obviously fake. Native Americans are proud of the name." - the Redskin Action Committee of Instilling Social Truth

"All hands on dick! Because I have an erection, you see. Touch my boner, is what I'm saying."—Gotze

Is funny because you take girl much more attractive than most and pretend you too good for her! Implying women who don't look like supermodels are ugly is hilarious!

credit: @cuppycup

Done it. Not that fun under hot studio lights.