leavetheguntakethecannoli
leavethegun-takethecannoli
leavetheguntakethecannoli

Dry erase markers are the woooorst. I definitely feel you there.

Not in general though I think I’ve just learned to adopt. (And yeah the numeric keypad just isn’t a thing to me either.) However I really feel it with dry erase markers, how am I supposed to write on whiteboards without getting smudged?

This is what happens when your target market is stay-at-home moms and Doug DeMuros

“yeahitkindadoes”

For some strange reason, I love that concave rear windscreen.

Pretty sure the crack pipe veredict was spot on, then :P

“Do you have a ballon?”

So basically the entire thing was set off by the stewards not letting her get some hot food? Screw them, the autistic girl can’t control her emotions, but the stewards can control theirs.

“you’ve never worked with the general public before.”

I’ve been working with General Public so long, he was just Lieutenant Public when I got started.

He’s very brave. I wouldn't be caught dead in cutoff jean shorts

Sounds like your own personal The Crying Game.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, let me put it to you this way: this weekend I went to record my 0-to-60 time. So I pressed “START” on my phone stopwatch, and I hammered the gas pedal, and the total time came to two minutes and 19 seconds, because that’s how long it took me to find my phone after it flew into the backseat

Or, like I posted not a long time ago, more states need to do the thing Hartford CT has caught on to. Do all CRAIGSLIST trading in the designated areas so that if something like this SHIT does happen, the cops can be there in a quarter of a second to either stop it or end it immediately.

The last time my boss bought a car from an individual, I went with him, both of us have our ccw and my boss noticed the other guy was carrying as well and all went smooth as silk.

I always bring at least 2 friends, one is generally another guy friend and the other is generally a 9mm or 40.

I think most police departments are pretty ok with you meeting in their parking lot as well.

“Here, we see a server remove the packaging from a frozen cheesecake that arrived on truck this morning to be thawed in a cooler. And so begins and ends our tour of Obscene Selection of Cheesecakes.”

I had a coworker (who was otherwise an excellent server) get fired because he told someone a dish was nut-free when it actually had a cashew spread on it. We were busy, and he forgot, but it was extremely careless. He didn’t even bother to mention the allergy to the kitchen. I saw her get carted off in an ambulance on

“she didn’t tip Sunday lunch waitstaff because she knew ‘that means they didn’t go to church.’”

AMEN. At first I was relieved to serve at Steakback Outhouse, which had no lunch service back then, but imagine my horror when they decided to open Sunday lunch several months after opening my location. Oh, the hatred.