The organist at my daughter’s wedding played filler music in between candle lightings and vows, etc. One song she played was “Still” by the Commodores. Pretty song, but it’s about a couple breaking up. I told her that it wasn’t really appropriate for a wedding, she said it didn’t matter, no one would remember the…

Yeah, I wouldn’t have it at my wedding. But it’s a damn good song.

How about training 911 operators to ask what number the caller is calling from?

Thank you for putting David Bowie’s bulge in the list. It is missed.

Do NOT insult John Goodman like that.

I had a crush on Hawkeye.

11/16/13. I totally, truly love alla y’all.

Yeah, but the smell.

OMG, Mangoooooo!

Nudity? Where TF did you work?

I work in Family Law, and my bosses get appointed by judges to represent children in contentious cases. Then, they have a voice, and can talk with someone who has a level head.

When a kid hits the teen years, they’re old enough to make the decision whether to go on visitation or not.

“Not to speak ill of the dad...”Hah!

Everyone tweet this to him, quick!

Lemonade Pt. 2?

Kind of related: I worked in a nursing home for 10 years. There were times when residents were on their way out, and asking for their family, and they refused to come be with them. I was in my late 20's then, and I had a hard time understanding this, but now, at the end of my 50's, I get it. 

Wow.

Going into labor at 8 months? That right there should have been reason to get her to a hospital. So many things could have happened, and they’re damn lucky nothing did. And I know this is pretty much a “Duh”, but wow.

This could work.

You need new friends.