God Big Papi is an obnoxious scumfuck.

That’s not really a fair burden to place on the fans. GSW and CLE drive ticket prices way up because fans want to see those players. So by resting the stars, you create an inflated price for a deflated product.

how am i supposed to get a selfie of me pretending to enjoy the Cavs game if Lebron isn’t playing!

Honestly, if you can’t find a way to be entertained at an NBA game notwithstanding that one or both teams’ best players aren’t playing, you probably shouldn’t waste your money. Watch it at a sports bar.

With all due respect, choose a side or eat shit.

He’s not good enough.

Fuck them both.

Was this kid engineered in a lab to play for Duke?! Amazing.

All that and not one dootlin’ dootlin’?

Pretty sure that just viewing this clip qualifies as a bachelor’s degree in English at UNC.

I used to work in the same market as Jamal Spencer. This had to have been even worse for him, because he went to Michigan State.

This may be the most clueless, laughably incorrect, prisoner of the moment hot take ever made in deadspin history. Someone tell me a post that's worse. You can't. Keep trying.

the one that happened to my team

Wide right, 1991. Not sure you can even put a state rivalry game in the same category.

Unless you’re the editor, it’s nacho call to make.

First Responder: Stay still, sir. I’m going to ask you a few questions.

He got his bell rung.

He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster.

Tom, I'm afraid you've been hoodwinked: this is viral marketing for Bud Light Lime Straw-Ber-Rita.