will invest $50,000 in the U.S.

But apparently Obama is no friend of Israel.

Jersey Boy is a tomato.

I think that this is a good time to remind people that Netanyahu, long an opponent of Oslo and any two-state solution, first came to power following the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin.

This was probably the best speech that Kerry has ever given. That being said, why give it weeks before Obama leaves office? This speech should have been given years ago

The cognitive dissonance required to portray Obama as both a tyrant ruling the country through executive action and a wimp who got pushed around for eight years is impressive. Building up that tolerance for contradiction must have laid the groundwork for disenfranchised voters to convince themselves that Trump would…

I’m so unbelievably sick of every statement about Israel not handling its shit in a way that shows even a modicum of respect for the human people living in Palestine being colored as antisemitism.

I, for one, am glad we have a president who doesn’t consider nuance, who sees the world as 100% black and white, right and wrong, good and evil, and who rightly views all forms of criticism as outright attacks. I was starting to get sick of having thoughtful leaders who recognize and attempt to deal with the…

When I think of Ariana Grande I think of someone trying to pretend to be a baby and be carried around and have generally been dismissive.

I feel like “very insightful” is some holiday generosity, but sure.

When I think about Arianna Grande I usually roll my eyes and think about her licking donuts.

I too turn into a whiny eating machine between November and February. I never shit in a box though.

We really should start spreading rumors in China about the healing properties of Republicans.

I read way too many of these (up until “foxhead garlands”) before realizing this was satire.

False Equivalency Alert

Well.... President Obama is a Constitutional Law scholar, and a successful politician, and generally a pretty cerebral guy.

Yes, just keep employing those false equivalencies for Obama and Trump.

My teenage sister does that - she takes instagrams of her polaroids. She wears rugby sweaters and velvet chokers, she knows all the words to *NSYNC songs because it’s cool and ironic. Sometimes I just want to shake her and scream ‘LIVE IN THE NOW, GIRL, THE FUTURE IS GREAT’ but what can you do. Youths.

PleaseletitbeabagofdildosPleaseletitbeabagofdildosPleaseletitbeabagofdildos

B-but emails! And Benghazi, wherever the fuck that is! And pedophile pizza! And I just can’t put my finger on why I don’t like her!