I JUST DO THINGS.

When I was a teenager I got completely shitfaced on a transatlantic red eye and “woke up” from a blackout holding several bags of vomit and with every passenger around me straight up glaring. Apparently during my blackout I decided to stay in my seat and vomit for a couple of hours. Can you imagine someone doing that…

I’m laughing so hard at this I’m sorry. “Sammy,I’m coming home!”

:-O===B

The Worst Thing You’ve Ever Seen on an Airplane...

Look, I was going through a bad break-up, OK?

I think the thing is that ‘hard’ is relative. There are some people reading this thinking “putting up with annoying habits is hard, this is marriage hard.” and some people thinking “we fight a lot and he makes me feel horrible about myself and I hate him but still love him....this is marriage hard”.

There’s a comment…

I’ve decided I will punish infidelity by never ever leaving him alone. A fate worse than death.

I guess this is the part where I become utterly hateable, but my wife and I are deeply in love, and after 14 years of marriage, I think she’d agree with me that, while life is hard, our marriage has been the easiest part of it. And that’s with infertility, cancer, and parental disability thrown in. It’s the marriage…

I don’t hate my husband, but I do enjoy alone time for sanity reasons. I love him, but he can be exhausting.

My husband and I didn’t start our ceremony until 8pm, after dinnertime, and then our caterers served a bunch of passed hors d’oeuvres, a big antipasto bar and kept the alcohol flowing. Having a cocktail reception with chairs around the venue and a few cocktail tables kept costs down and avoided the dreaded seating…

A LOT of people do the Food Truck Wedding thing in Austin (where I live). Apparently, it’s vital to hire three food trucks for big-ish weddings. Most of the trucks will also require you to pare down their offerings to a very limited menu, so they can do a lot of prep in advance.

i’m getting married this saturday. a retired judge is coming to our house and marrying us. $125 bucks and about 5 minutes of planning. cannot fathom a year or more of planning and spending thousands of dollars on one day. it’s about marrying the person you love and wanting to spend the rest of your life with them, not…

You made that adorable child pay for his Cunts? It’s not free if you give them to him!

I can only guess that perhaps they had not, in fact, reached the Chinese restaurant, but rather a gleeful prankster one digit off?

THIS...

Is it a bad sign that my reaction to the kill-person/fuck-goat would have just been “Who’s the person?”

Backpeddling twit.

Because I don’t know where else to put this and felt like I would have betrayed you all for not sharing. Ladies, gentlemen...today...I went Hamm. (that’s me on the far right).