The most hilarious photo of my 3 week old so far. She's the best.

My first kid was very small. I get a good laugh out of this picture because it highlights the small. She is in a preemie onesie that my sister picked up at the thrift store. We were expecting a bigger baby so we didn’t have any clothes that fit.

Y’all gonna make me lose this cough, up in here...

Y’all gon’ make me act a fool up in heahh.

Idk Reese, you did make This Means War. Pot, kettle, black.

Is it just me or did Yoko’s tweet make sense?

“Food adjacent.” Lololol. I snorted out loud at work over that.

Maybe, just maybe, I’m a very hormonal 38 week pregnant woman who is a bit touchy about things at this moment, but SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU STUPID STUDY. Like pregnant women need another fucking thing not to have. I haven’t had alcohol, I keep sugar and caffeine to a minimum, I have well done steak, I microwave my damn…

As a pregnant woman, can I just say that I am so goddamn sick of seeing a new study every week telling me I’m doing something wrong? This is my first pregnancy and it is scary enough without some dude in a lab discovering that I may already be a terrible mother because I ate a fucking potato for dinner.

Huge kudos to James Corden for breaking out some solid harmony with FREAKING ADELE. I can carry a tune, but I think if I attempted to harmonize under that kind of pressure, she’d just give me a kind, “Shhhh.... just no, luv. Tanks.”

ill preface this comment by saying i was born and raised in Massachusetts (spent 25 yeas in Boston and the South Shore.). This has to be the first time ever that the police have covered up for a black guy.

Whitlock is a walking boob.

But BEWBS. DIRTY PILLOWS OF SIN.

What are you talking about? Jason Whitlock sees breasts every time he looks down.

boobs bad, dudes head butting each other into concussions good.

Quick story!

Radio announcers appear to be very vigilant about being kidded.

My aunt gave me some great advice when I was a single mom with a newborn, and people were giving me shit because I let him sleep with me sometimes in his first year. She said, “If you and the baby are alive and you able to stay sane, then you’re doing alright.”

We do the same thing in Seattle by telling everyone it rains here all the time. So much rain, all the time, you pretty much have to swim to work 365.