Take the first word that comes across your mind. Repeat the word until dawn.

All these people need punched.

I totally cried while compiling this post, not even going to try to lie to you about it.

My husband went out-of-town this weekend and is currently on a 3-day work trip. It’s restoring my sanity.

2.5 years into our marriage, and I’m STILL adjusting to cohabitation. A few weeks ago, in the midst of a fight, I blurted out, “You’re just HERE all the time! I love you, but sometimes, I just get annoyed with you for no other reason than you’re here.” While that certainly wasn’t the nicest way to phrase my…

Ay yi yi the outlets are so far away for me, and the really good one is in a 110 degree desert where there’s never any parking. I’m doomed to shop online, find nothing, and keep wearing my shitty black pants and random blouses day after day.

OUTLET MALLS ARE EVERYTHIIIIING

Agreed re: Banana Republic. I haven’t found anything there in forever, and I am their exact demographic, I think. But who am I kidding, there’s nowhere to buy decent work clothes now.

Eighty six dollars?

In case you didn’t know that’s Jordan Peele doing her voice... that’s Jordan Peele doing her voice.

I asked myself what Kylie Jenner’s music would sound like and then this popped into my head.

As vulgar and insulting as Fetty Wap’s Trap Queen is, it’s the lack of imagination that makes me really go all “what’s the hell is matter with kids these days?”

a little offensive.

“Useless fucking paper clip”: best description of a human I’ve ever read. MORE STORIES, LINDSEY.

I'd love a week of only hotel / movie theatre stories. I can only imagine what those poor souls have to put up with in a daily basis...

Part of me really wanted Momager to actually smack Psycho Santa with the pizza pan.

If I were such a huge asshole that my family had to tell people that I had brain damage to explain my behavior, I’d MAYBE think about dialing it back just a bit.

Yeah I really don’t understand why people are upset about this? Rich people are rich and can afford expensive things and they’ve put expensive things on their wedding registry and why exactly does there need to be outrage there?

in the realm of rich people’s wedding registry lists, this one is not really that out there.