Just today the giant stone head I worship vomited guns at me and told me that the "THE GUN IS GOOD — THE PENIS IS EVIL!"

First they came for the Dippin' Dots, and I did not speak out, because I was not a Dippin' Dot.

Logan: The Black and Adamantium Edition.

Well fine, then I'll Dust Buster!

Jesus, is EVERYONE a Russian stooge these days?

I used to work with a fellow who would regale anyone who would listen (usually me) about how he'd had sex in a theater while watching Naked Lunch, a movie he unambiguously recommended as a date-night movie.

I thought that was Bill Cosby?

Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.

I've never seen the 2006 Charlotte's Web movie, but I own a copy of Spider's Web: A Pig's Tale because it was, I think 88 cents on Amazon (it also has a couple episodes of Strawberry Shortcake on the same disc).

And the third Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie had a trailer that did a King Arthur thing… for some reason.

Only by day. By night she fights crime. Don't let that "mild-mannered" act fool you.

I thought K-Pax was married to Britney Spears. Although that doesn't invalidate your off-brand tampon theory,

John Matrix?

…So a DVD from Alpha Video?

Oh no, everyone else has already done all the Joanie Loves Chachi and Happy Days and Charles In Charge jokes… I have to improvise something… uh… uh…

Poor David Carradine was probably standing there going "no, no, this is all wrong, it's nothing like this" through the entire filming of that scene.

Poor David Carradine was probably standing there going "no, no, this is all wrong, it's nothing like this" through the entire filming of that scene.

Thank you for this explanation.

Was that the one where it turned out he was a secret evil pawn of Kang the Conqueror the whole time, then he died, then they brought him back as a teenager for some reason, then teenage Tony Stark died fighting Onslaught, which was a thing, then they let Image do comics for Marvel for some reason, then they brought…

Yeah, but that SUCKED.