…Also, Dude, "yellow person" is not the preferred nomenclature. "Asian-American," please.

Damn, now I want an Ace Frehley bumper sticker, and I DON'T EVEN OWN A CAR!

I support George Clinton for Parliament.

How was there never a biopic of Emperor Norton starring Buck Flower?

I had a woodshop teacher who, in lieu of a final exam, had us watch the first half of Timecop.

"Are we still appending 'The A.V. Club' to these kinds of sentence fragments?"

…Was that an advertisement for a pancake that wanted to bang a cell-phone with a picture of a human lady on it at the beach?

There were only THREE orphans in that orphanage! That's a waste of space AND government resources! I don't CARE what Hulk Hogan thinks!

I'm not.

His dad made a really, really good werewolf movie once.

I gave your mother redshirt!

Evil: God isn't interested in technology. He cares nothing for the microchip or the silicon revolution. Look how he spends his time, forty-three species of parrots! Nipples for men!

Oh ho! So you're not the rosy-cheeked young boffin in your avatar?

…SIKE!

I own a tie-dyed shirt with a design printed in glow-in-the-dark ink on it. The design is of a Skeleton Wizard holding a crystal ball in which is visible a woman in a Princess Leia bikini riding (possibly dry-humping) a unicorn.

Really, they didn't title it "I Grok Spock"?

…And then ZARDOZ created GOD
…And in the end ZARDOZ re-created MAN.

PF Flyers.

I would like to go to the Gothic Castle!

Nyquil-glazed doughnuts? Jesus Christ, Portland*.