I need her chicken leg house.

I mean it is a difficult talent to master.

Absolutely perfect. Even more so because Baba kinda reminds me...of me!

The article seems a little snarky, for a kid who was taught herself a skill at age 10, then two years later was good enough to compete in, much less win, a national competition.

Okay, listen...

Her ability to sing in 2 different voices while not moving her lips is pretty fucking impressive.

You just know she’s watching Jaws and rooting for the shark.

Kelly lacks the humanity for this.

No one with three kids, a dog, AND a pristine white couch is relatable in my book. Kids and dog, sure. A white couch. With kids and dog? Nope. I’m out. Don’t buy it.

No but guys, haven’t you heard?

Exactly. Not that I don’t like hearing about gay men. I think Rich is a great writer. I really enjoyed his piece on Prep (written last year I think?)....

Alternatively, she could shut the fuck up about her #SponCon vacation being cancelled and how she plans to “hit” the resort next year when people who actually live on that island are at great physical and material risk. It costs zero dollars and zero sense to have some fucking humanity and realize not everything is…

Sabrina the teenage bitch

That’s how my old roommate came across her cat. Someone tossed a bag out of a car and into the gutter, and my roommate pulled over to investigate. She found a filthy little tuxedo kitten missing half her whiskers. That cat grew up to be the pickiest, smartest, most self-assured critter I’ve ever known, and my roommate…

Old Nutmeg’s tale of long living warms my cold bitter heart. Yesterday, a vet tech I’m friendly with was stopped behind a Prius and a stoplight near our downtown. When the light changed to green, she saw something get tossed out the passenger window as they hit the gas. Not a fast food bag, not a towel, nope, it was a…

My cat is somewhere between 15 and 17. I think she’s going to outlast us all. I’m pretty sure sneaks into my room at night and sucks the life out of the rest of the family.

well...

That cat looks really good for 31. I’m trying to imagine what I’d look like at 140 years old. He looks downright spry. I’m younger than him and I look like a lump of jello.

“Are they criminals?”

I was hit with a belt maybe once or twice, but I was older. At two you barely really understand what’s wrong and right and you’re still trying to figure out where the line is. I’m kind of disturbed by her continual justification for her actions. Like I’m not sure why she feels she can be an advocate of any kind. Also,…