Well yeah, sure, the author should just become a shut-in until her kid turns 18 then I guess.

Crying children irritate me just as much as the next person, but the last time I checked, this is goddamn America, and I recognize your right to be on that plane, same as me. Having a child doesn’t mean you have to stop living your life and limiting where you go because your child might, I dunno, ACT LIKE WE ALL DID…

To my knowledge, this young woman told me and one other colleague. I kept the secretto myself for the last seven years until the other night. I let slip to a journalist friend the very basics of what happened,

I’m wearing an ankle-length nightgown ;););)

Stop sexting me at work.

Full disclosure: I typed that while lying down.

TMZ confirms with Chief Deputy Terry White that Lindsay—who has been volunteering at a Brooklyn children’s center—has, against all odds, fulfilled her community service duties by putting “in nearly 8 hours a day for several weeks without a break to get the job done.” (So like a normal job then?)

I should also note that I DID wear Birkenstocks in the ‘90s (Sassy!), but I NEVER ventured into Teva territory.

That was painful. I'd rather have my prostate checked by Edward Scissorhands than listen to that again.

even more adorably, Riley did her dad’s signature 3 point celebration postgame <3<3<3

Are the others “Macking on bride/groom during wedding” “wearing white when you are not bride” “starting a fist fight” and “requesting the macerena”?

I was married on a Saturday, flew across the country for my honeymoon on the following Monday. My dad, his fiance, my siblings, and my dad’s siblings all rented a vacation house on an island in our homestate for the rest of the week - fun for them, fun for me. Wednesday night my dad called me to inform me that on…

It was a brilliant takedown of the Cosby defense.

In order to be convicted of bribery she has to be offering something of value, so if she’s going to get out of this I suggest she take the position that she’s no good at butt stuff and hence did not offer anything of value.

Labial cigar?

festival dressing: the powerful combination of molly sweats & body oil

Fishing Vests. Then you’ve got a pocket for your ID, one for your phone, another for your drugs, another pocket for snacks, another pocket for glow sticks...

You’re the only person on Earth with total control of a child’s physical movements at all times. You should use your power for good and not waste it on cringey, over the top, really bad Internet sarcasm.

Okay you’re right she’s a pain in the ass literally no matter what I do and I should probably just keep her in jail until she’s 18. (I check with folks around me and make sure she’s not invading their space because I AM NOT A JERK, but probably I’m a liar and actually the biggest jerk of all time.)