Oh my fluttering heart. Oh my stars and garters. She really is age perfect. *gusty sigh*

First thought: “Me too man, FedEx fucking su...ohhhhh...”

I’m fucking saying. *sigh*

Yeah, and as it’s a FANTASY I don’t turn it into a REALITY because I can tell the difference between the two, unlike people who, you know, actually rape people. Must be a male thing. (Except that there are female rapists too, so see how STUPID and gender essentialist that sounds?)

True dat.

I fantasize about forcing stupid people to be less stupid by the expedient of yelling at them whilst smacking their heads against walls. However, because I’m actually quite a nice person, I just smile at them and walk away.

Isn’t it only people under the age of six who are supposed to be unable to tell fantasy from reality?

*grin* Just remember how Miss Manners says to deal with such things—it is entirely proper to remove offending food bits from your mouth by the same method they got there. Fingers for finger food, forks or spoons for everything else, and screw anyone who doesn’t agree because Miss. Manners. Approves.

Why on earth do you think we can’t digest it? We certainly can. Most people like it at least somewhat cooked for two reasons: 1) It changes (hopefully for the better) the flavor, and 2) Searing meat preserves the juices inside while eliminating any bacteria that may be hanging around outside. —Your Friendly…

If your screen name is even partially accurate, you have to have encountered more awkward things than admitting you don’t know how to eat something... And they get the chance to show off their sophistication, when you nonchalantly say, “so...how DOES one eat this?”

I just cringed so hard I think I pulled a muscle. Oh my god, I cannot even.

Hats off to your grandmother... o.O

I haven’t had enough coffee this morning, because my first thought was that if you give your escargot enough salt, it will stop crawling...

I was gonna say...god forbid Berwyn cede notoriety from the biker gangs...

For some reason, this made me think of Bill the Cat. Not sure why. *grin* *ackpth!*

THIS. SERIOUSLY. I AM SO PISSED I’M YELLING. GAAAAH.

Normally I hate lines like that because they are just so patronizing, but this one...this one was deserved. It really was a bunch of kids swishing whips around.

Many, many, many parts of the Midwest. Seriously. I look stereotypically Jewish and had people asking “what are you” for all of my adolescence and much of my young adulthood.

THIS.

I know this’ll get buried way down in the greys, but...