Do the sex right, and s/he will not give a shit about any lighting.

No worries, and more power to you. I have about six hours to read 400 pages. I wish I were drunk.

Sam is the director, not an actor in the movie, and quite rich and famous already. She doesn't need to do this.

Customer: I'm looking for a book.
Me: ...you're going to have to give me a bit more information than that.
Them: It has a blue cover.
Me, thinking: ...are you fucking with me? Please, please just be fucking with me.
Me, saying: Do you know the author?
Them: Nope.
Me: Then I'm sorry, I can't really help you.
Them:…

Iiiiiiinteresting. I did not know that.

Yup. For me, it was a gradual escalation that then got substantially worse very quickly. One day it left red marks or hives, the next—suppurating blisters like poison ivy. I stopped eating bananas when they started to blister my gums.

I am ashamed to say that I got that: It's Kermit sipping tea, like in the "But that's none of my business" meme.

*Not* a random thing to be allergic to. Are you also allergic to latex? Avocados have latex in them. Also bananas. And a few other fruits, but avocados and bananas are the biggest offenders.

I needed this so hard today.

In this case he makes a great, big, sexy deal out of pulling the tampon out of her. I threw up a bit just typing that.

Nope, he's actually a ginger. All brunettedness is dye.

Tell her it's this one! http://www.amazon.com/Mr-Penumbras-2…

This needs more stars.

Hey if you rearrange "notalldetectives" you can almost spell "it's about ethics."

I was totally thinking that.

Seconding the "fucking freezing" aspect of it. I "look" Jewish/middle eastern, but live in a very polyglot/multi-cultural city, so I'm not quite as worried, but damn it, it's the middle of bloody winter!!

I've sent an email asking about an "other" category, but no...

I'm thinking like maybe he's on the couch?

My mother and salads. I swear to god.

...okay. I can see that. Sorry.