i told my boyfriend that if he cheats on me, he should call me and tell me before he gets home so i can make sure all of his stuff is out on the lawn.

if, despite a commitment to monogamy, one partner cheats on another, there is more at play than just mistrust. my issue would be that my partner didn't have enough respect for me to hit the breaks. there is no accidental cheating. two people go through a series of actions that result in at least one person hurting the…

it's also important to note that a customer who has told you they have waited an hour has probably waited 15 minutes in actual time

celebrities often put stupid little ads in power business dailies, where no one will ever find them.

a good friend has a premie (who just had his first birthday!) and you can't be within 3 feet of that kid without his mom rushing in with purell. she always apologizes, but the point is, if we can do something minor to prevent others, especially vulnerable others, from getting sick, we absolutely should. that flu you…

scramble = scramble-fry in my world anyway, as i'm addicted to overcooked food (thanks mom!).

sounds great! i could see making this vegetarian (or even vegan) by using scrambled tofu instead of ground turkey. of course you'd have to use more herbs and seasoning, as tofu doesn't have much flavour presence.

tears streaming down my face. i am dead and as such, free to join the mysterious black mist man spirit as one.

i'm such a sucker for gold. this bottle is everything to me.

every. time.

you're preaching to the choir, girl. i love those guys and their broc+cheese counterparts.

if i leave work right at 5 and get my run in without doddling, i should be home to listen. thank god for the innernet.

regular ol' spinach will work on adults. trust.

Dying.

when i used to smoke a lot of pot and then go out to run errands or activities, i'd counter my squintiness with trying to open my eyes extra large. i think we can observe how this doesn't work via ts.

omg so glad you corrected them.

i think you get a lifetime pass.

oh god thank you so much for making this joke. gone are the days of men being (london) knights in shining armor.

That's what I would have expected. I know the plane can't carry extra weight but one extra meal is reasonable.

seriously. just don't put meat in it. that's it. i'm picky in other ways, but the bottom line is vegetarian = no meat.