BECAUSE EVERYONE WHO FALLS UP STAIRS ENDS UP DOING SO GRACEFULLY AND BEAUTIFULLY, SPREADING THEIR GOWN OUT AS IF THEY WERE A BALLERINA/SWAN HYBRID.

For some reason, when he speaks, this is all I ever hear:

This is a story about a magazine named lucky...

don’t squirrels carry it? i remember a story about squirrels carrying a plague of some kind. god damn squirrels. just rats with bushy tails... YA DONT FOOL ME SQUIRRELS!!

Well, there goes my “Bundled Red Candles and a Clock” centerpiece idea.

Yeah but John Travolta (whom I love btw, for various reasons) kisses ALL the ladies. Just so that we know how much he LOVES the ladies. In a SEXUAL way.