I said "blackboard" to my first grader and she stared at me blankly before asking, "What's a blackboard?"

...her fatally injured infant son to lead...

More film reviews should be about how many hot, shirtless guys there are. If I'm going to spend $12+ for a ticket, I don't want to waste my time on 6s.

Huh. If I was going to set up a time-lapse video of my animal sleeping all day, I would at least make my bed. But maybe that's because I am a DOG person. #teamdog #bringitteamcat

here's a link to the fb page: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set…

OH GOD THE CUTENESS

I'm not sure I'd call the plastic-necked Barbie-bobble-head treatment "skillful." That neck is seriously creeping me out.

In my house it's exactly like that but I tell LoniManderson that true love is just 300 bottles of Vodka away. He keeps rambling on about how if that's true then I must have reached some ecstatic, joyous higher plane of Nirvana-like love, but I don't really understand ever what he is talking about because I'm usually…

Welp, they deserve to get their charters yanked.

I'm a little sad with Jezebel for engaging in this speculation, but also not surprised. The smear campaign is nearly complete. I feel like the "Family Brand" has some intense rumor mongering skills, like those of an unethical interrogation, that by the end you come out not knowing up from down and doing whatever it is…

I like to think it was more resolved when he spoke because she was invited to call the police or STFU.

Is it weird that I enjoy looking at them when they are in this state? They are like a small, ugly/cute mammal: like a mouse or a hedgehog. Something to pet. Then- they grow! Run! Or, you know, have sex with it.

Good god I hate seeing these pants. It's like the pants-sag thing had a kid with skinny pants and the end product looks like a longsleeve shirt with no cutout for the head used as really awful pants.

There are few things I hate like the hand-on-the-dick maneuver.

Oh, well as long as they think it's abhorrent, that's ok. No need to return that money, then! All friends now!

Okay, seriously, what the fuck do so many people have against people who play video games? Fuck all of you judgmental assholes. If I had a dollar for every judgmental jackass who sat there trying to shame me for my hobbies while they talked about Jersey Shore or some other similarly idiotic TV show, I could probably…

Seriously. I didn't want a public proposal for myself, but I'm not about to get all holy than thou towards those who are into that kind of thing. News flash: it's their life! And their marriage! And none of my business how they choose to get engaged. Marriage proposals are happy and joyous, no matter how they happen.…

You don't understand the sui generis moral code of the Jezebel world. Consent is a privilege and/or right that does not extend to white males, at least not those hatefully wealthy ones not named Nick Denton. Nor is it something to be entrusted to the foul skanks that fuck loathsome white boys outside of the Denton…