But like Lindy said, it seemed very romantic to me. I like the idea of us being an easily identifiable unit; I like the idea of our kids having the same name that we both have.

Hah! Well - it makes the room look like a disaster, I smack my head into the doors, it allows the cat to potentially knock glassware off of shelves...

I am messy in my own ways but the cupboard thing just kills me. I mean, do you leave drawers open? I assume no, right? I just cannot wrap my head around why cupboards would be any different.

Mine does it not only in the kitchen, but also in the living room. We have these strange bookcases with doors on them, and he literally is incapable of remembering to close the doors. Sometimes I come home and almost every cupboard / bookshelf door in the house has been left open. It makes me feel like we have ghosts…

WHY do people leave the cupboards open, though? I mean, I'm not going to leave him over it, but good god. I don't even understand the thought process (or lack thereof) behind it.

But is it OK for us to participate in something that contributes to our own disenfranchisement in this way, in the interest of holding on to traditions? I would argue no, on a theoretical level. But on an individual level, I obviously don't think anyone should have to do something in order to be a "good" feminist.

See, that overwhelming number (96%?!?!?!) is why I am not OK with women taking their husband's last name. Every time this topic comes up, women come out of the woodwork with their personal story about why it was really important to them to take their husband's last name, and obviously that's fine. This is your life…

Right, you go it exactly. Rape gets treated in court like no other crime - frequently, the defense attorney's strategy in rape cases is to go after the victim's behavior in order to blur the lines of consent and plant doubt in the jury's mind. Had the woman been drinking? Had she been "acting provocatively?" Had she…

You're missing the point. If the police found your phone, the person who took it would be charged with theft. The thief wouldn't be able to claim that since you fell asleep, they had a right to take your phone. That's precisely WHY it's OK to say "Hey, don't fall asleep with your phone in your hand on the train," but…

I posted about this in the greys, but my take on it is basically that because of the way our society views rape as opposed to other crimes, giving out that advice is inherently harmful. I agree with you that it's such well-intentioned advice, and it's hard to wrap your mind around the idea that we shouldn't tell women…

Yup, I view precautions against being roofied as a totally different thing, mostly because when women are roofied and then sexually assaulted, their behavior is less likely to be brought into question, since they were drugged against their will.

I kind of have the opinion that no matter how sensitively it is done, it's not OK to talk about women taking steps to guard against rape. Of course, when you look at things logically, it seems natural, like you mentioned. You wouldn't fall asleep with your laptop sitting next to you on a bus, and getting drunk makes…

Yup, I 100% agree.

Yup, I follow you, and am completely aware that she's presenting a body that's unattainable for most of the population. I wasn't trying to comment on that. But the point I was trying to make is totally moot and I have tried and failed to make it several times in this post, so I'm not going to clutter up your inbox…

Yeah, I 100% agree with you. I was talking about whether or not the picture conveys the message "I have three kids and look like a fitness model, what's your excuse?" vs. "I have three kids and have time to work out a huge amount, what's your excuse?" Both are judgmental and assholish but I think it's interesting that…

Yeah, I get that. I know it seems like I lack basic comprehension, but I'm actually on board with all of you that she's being an asshole. I was trying (and completely failing) to make a point that her body shape is actually conveying a message that she did not explicitly express, and that a different body shape would…

Well that's sort of what I'm trying to have a conversation about. I actually see weight-loss inspiration stories all the time where the "after" picture is still not conventionally attractive, but the person has put in a huge amount of effort to achieve it. I think most people find pictures like that inspirational and…

Sorry, I'm honestly not trying to be deliberately obtuse. I agree with you. She knows she represents society's ideal, and she's using that to promote her fitness coaching business. It's not like I don't see the point you're making. But the picture was posted within the context of her Facebook page in which she has…

I'm saying that the picture was posted on her Facebook page, after what looks like months and months of posts about her workout routine, and seems to me to be the "after" picture of a lot of hard work. The picture says "What's your excuse," not "What's your excuse for looking like me?" And so I'm wondering if the…

I'm pretty much completely failing to get my point across here and am coming off looking like an idiotic troll. I'll try one more time I guess: