So Freudian slip, he accidentally told the truth or he’s an idiot.

SO the SNL writers can take the week off and just let Melissa McCarthy quote Spicer verbatim, right?

Somewhere Obama is laughing like this because he heard about Joe Wilson’s town hall:

“Trump has no ties with Russia”

Holocaust centers.

I don’t think he did it on purpose.

1. April Ryan needs a raise. I don’t know what they are paying her, but it isn’t enough to put up with this BS.

Isn’t calling it an attack basically saying you were committing an act of war? Doesn’t Congress do that?

The gutting/severely compromising the EPA is one of the most infuriating aspects of Trump’s agenda. All of these people who want to roll back pollution regulations on industry, they’re not going to breathe the same air and drink the same water that we do? It’s simply insane this will also affect you and everyone you…

Congratulations to our great military men and women for representing the United States, and the world, so well in the Syria attack.

No, you usually hit runways with guided ordinance designed to penetrate down to the concrete slabs beneath the top coat of asphalt which is far more difficult and time-consuming to fix. The Tomahawk cruise missile isn’t designed for that sort of application.

Why the fuck would Kate Bush want to do Coachella?!

Okay, that does it. We are officially living in the Onionest Timeline.

I do a Soma with half a glass of red for flights between 5 and 8 hours, Soma and a half with a full glass of red for anything 8+ hours. I fall asleep right after the first snack pass and wake up upon landing, feeling like I just had a massage.

I believe the correct term is “Voluntold”.

I’ve seen them require/ask for volunteers to deboard for an incentive after boarding many times. Never seen them beat the shit out of someone who didn’t want to do it though, at least not in my experience

How any of this is legal?

I don’t fly very much. I’ve definitely experienced situations where flights were overbooked and the airline was trying to get people to give up their seat, but that was always before we boarded. Is it normal to try to kick people off the flight once they’re already boarded? How is it legal to kick people off a plane…

United Airlines spokesman Henry “Indiana” Jones, Jr. stated that forcible removal is standard protocol when an involuntary volunteer refuses to comply with a volunteering order.

I always have Ativan in my purse when I fly because flying is awful. But I need to up my drug game. Valium with a Xanax chaser?