This story has been passed around for a looooong time. I applaud your sense of humor, but I don't think this happened to you IRL.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 has a subplot constructed around the pick-up artist concept of “negging.”

That last one is beautiful.

"...chalupas, or quesadillas, or crunchwraps, or...look, does it matter what he wanted? They're all the same damn thing anyway..."

And some of his podcast listeners are blind, but you don’t see them bitching about not being able to read his shitty-ass columns.

I am truly getting to old for the main page. I can’t stand it any more.

What about miniature domesticated cheetahs the size of housecats? What’s the progress on that?

Thanks,

Making bombs is bad.

I watched that match. He looked like such a fucking fool trying to step up to Fellaini like that. Like a little boy trying to head butt his bigger brother. Ridiculous little man.

Probably dumb to even mention, but I don't see anything in here about the simple factor of whether or not a shot was actually on goal. Generally when a team takes tons of shots and doesn't score it's because most of them, apart from being long, also weren't even on target.

Hear, hear! However, let’s take this one step further. I would go so far to say that WOMEN are a myth. I mean, I’m not a woman. Therefore, are there women? I find this so called “women exist” narrative just doesn’t hold water.

One of my friends mentioned that the earth is roughly spherical. That man was running right at the cop, hoping to take him from behind!

black cops can be bad, too. when minority cops kill minority citizens, they're still the tool of the majority.

Holy Fuck you're right. Maybe he was running towards a loaded cannon. Better put 8 rounds in him just be sure.

Because I know that someone in the comments will talk about how dangerous it is to be a police officer, just wanting to come home alive, etc.

It is more dangerous to be employed as a landscaper in America than it is to be employed as police officer. This is a fact that is true and is verifiable.

Also a fair representation of Drew’s reaction when a black person tries to talk to him on the subway.

This gif is so white that it gets pulled over by cops in bad neighborhoods to make sure that everything is OK and do you need help finding your way home Mr. Gif?

That’s the face he makes when he sees police officers.

"A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime."