... Eat the rich? It's a classic for a reason.

Furbabies

I cringe every time refers to themselves as “mama” in third person, “mama needs a snack” Gross

Also see: doggos. 

D List?

Her OSCAR NOMINATION was before either of your puny TV shows.

Not only did he pay them $3,500 but he reportedly paid them with a check. A. Check.

BACON.

Name a breakfast food anywhere as delicious, like, sushi or marinated cassava. I’ll wait.

I don’t understand this. Were these guys just walking around looking to commit a hate crime (who carries rope, bleach and ski masks?) and instead of a random person, they found Jussie and went with it? Or were they targeting him? 

For a brief moment I wish tv was real - once these assholes are caught, Cookie and Luscious Lyon would make sure they get everything they deserve.

I thought this was a Jez joke article at first

Probably the exact same things that happened during everyone else’s Senior Beach Week, except Brett was rich so he probably had better booze.