If I were President of the World, it would all come down to Jack Daniels and Adderall.

We called that a Brass Monkey! Or a poor man's Blue Moon.

HE WAS SUPPOSED TO MARRY ME AFTER I WOKE UP ONE DAY AND HAD MAGICALLY TURNED INTO SUMMER.

But when I'm pregnant I already won't be able to have booze or coffee. Everything will hurt and I'll be getting super fat.

Yesterday my boyfriend was throwing hot water in the air and watching it turn to snow.

I have only one thing to say about this:

My parents were going through a divorce while I was in middle school, and that led me to moving around a lot. Somehow, I managed to miss every school's sex-ed portion of the curriculum. As a result, I learned basically everything from an Alloy book called, "This Book is About SEX," which was read to me over the…

Servers are paid sub-minimum wage because the American restaurant business model accounts for tips in their wages. Whether you like it or not, that's how they make their money. Their job is to give you a pleasant hour out and put up with your bullshit, and you pay them for it. I don't care if you like the system. If…

Why did I read this at work? Why would I do that to myself?

I'm not trying to attack you at every turn, I promise (even if it seems like that). I just don't think anyone, even someone I'm dating, has a right to tell me what to do with my body unless I ask for their opinion. I feel like that should exist on both sides of a relationship, but oftentimes I see men thinking they…

Obey? Seriously, dude?

I honestly am not okay with even that. Unless I'm considering doing something to my hair and I ask for an opinion, I don't want an opinion. It's my body and I'll do whatever makes me happy.

I hate when anyone (male, female, sleeping with me or not) has an opinion on how I should wear my hair.

What I am suggesting here is that someone who stole a female POC's essay on cultural appropriation should show the decency and respect to read though his letter a few times before sending it. I'm not suggesting that the typo alone is a sign of immorality, but that sending an email to "Ms. Dodai" and not checking it…

I once got home at 11:30 PM after a late rehearsal and a day of classes, put the finishing touches on a 75 page screenplay I had been working on for a class, and then turned it in. Then I began to start researching the 15 page paper I had to write about landscape preservation at my local park. I finished it at 7 AM,…

If I were you, I'd respond by slowly a meticulously ripping him a new one with my prose, but since this kid wasn't even sorry or embarrassed enough to proofread his apology, he's probably not worth it.

"You are far more determined then have ever been in my whole life."

Thank you!

Right now I live in Chicago, and no one really sees it that way, but likely by the time I have children I'll be in Canada. I'm midwestern, and I've never considered it a southern thing.