Chick Fil A?

I took the day off Thursday, so I flipped on the MLB Network a few minutes before the Dodgers-Twins noon game and went straight into the kitchen to fry up some sausages. Even over the sizzle, I hear this frenzied, distressed whining/shouting. "What the shit?", I thought, "Why are the Malaysian airline families on…

My grandfather, now deceased, born in 1925, never had a racist thing to say. He'd lecture other family members that said racist things. Don't know if it's because we have such a diverse family, or what. But racism just did not fly with him. He was a WW2 veteran, in case you might question his masculinity or assume…

You are older than:

You mean like how everyone was like "OMG, they're doing it wrong!" after the Sound of Music live, and I was like "IDIOTS! The musical came first! This is the damned stage show!"

So, look at Young Jim Cantore. He's got hair, a smaller head, smaller arms, all about the weather. It makes you think of Barry Bonds. Bigger head, bigger arms, played for the love of the game.

Weddings are one of the few rituals that conflate reality and fantasy happily (certainly a lot of those mixed heartily at funerals, but no fun) for adults, and by adults I mean spoiled women. Girls have been raised on subtle variations of the princess fantasy, for better or worse, and the wedding is the only really…

No no, those are the creme eggs (and yes I tried the screme eggs last year, I enjoyed them thoroughly!), I'm talking about mini eggs, which look like this:

2050 me says, "I'm too old for this shit!" Get it together, people, so I don't have to suffer the indignity of a slow, painful death by starvation in my golden years. I deserve a cushy retirement spent alternately shooing kids off my lawn and giving them a Werther's Original.