One night in a little saloon in Fort Stockton, Texas, I ripped a man’s leg off and beat another man to death with it. The West Texas desert ran red with blood that night, my friends, and it pooled underneath the I-10's overpass and I bathed as a grackle does in the puddled muddy water of the rolling thunderstorms…

Reminder: He is not irreplaceable.

There are some more people who ought to be strapped into chairs and beaten with hammers. People who wear visors.

Everybody’s trippin’

Hazing: gang initiation for rich white kids.

These details are upsetting. It’s hard to read about incidents taking place in college athletics that you’d usually associate with a Supreme Court nomination.  

Seriously.  Someone needs to sit down with the rest of the owners and teach them how to play Settlers of Catan.  You don’t trade sheep for wheat with the person who has 8 points showing and a 2:1 wheat port. 

If you’re single and don’t feel like buying tons of groceries, why not do Blue Apron/ meal kits to feed yourself.

How is it that men can honestly think telling a minor (a minor relative, at that) that he wants to have sex with her is nothing but an ego boost or mentoring or whatever garbage they manage to roll around in? 

Le’veon turned down a $70m over 5 years, that is a fucking monster deal, a lot of people act like the Steelers offered him peanuts.

Post a picture of you burning your Nikes, racist.

In case I was confused about which side to take on this thing, I’m glad a Pouncey showed up to clarify that I should be supporting Bell unconditionally. 

There’s nothing in the CBA that says the player has to sign the franchise tender though. They are absolutely free to hold out. Bell is operating entirely in the bounds of the CBA as well.

When McCain wrote his disinvite list, he probably just wrote “bitch can’t keep their mouth shut”. This required some interpretation on his family’s part. Just to be safe, they disinvited Donald Trump, Sarah Palin and Kanye West.

Actually he did that before the article came out — which is one of the reasons that is the one story I refuse to group in with the #metoo stuff, and he’s the one person I think whose career should be minimally effected by this. He reached out to her the day after their date to see how she was, she told him she felt…

They come in illegally from Indiana, you fucking putz. Go unfasten your lips from Sarah Huckabee’s lowest hanging teat.

“Guns aren’t the problem. Look at Chicago, where there are strict gun crimes!”

Speaking of shitty black republican hairstyles. 

Eh, now the statue is even MORE historically accurate, since it suffered a humiliating defeat. 

Bruh, dem dudes got enough on their plate trying to impregnate very white girl in Maine.