two words: Jay Paterno

Nobody cares about your Fantasy team, Gabe.

My roommate and I actually paused HBO to scream when Shiv said “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Dad, just tell them it’s gonna be me.” I don’t know what it is, but this show really does something to me.

Sure, he’s right that what he’s describing would happen eventually. When you create a system that limits student-athlete agency and add an exception like this, some kid is going to do what he believes in his own best interest. But big fucking deal... Is it more important to preempt the rare college getting “screwed”…

The floodgates opened up after that.

Interesting article. I’m curious why you think the lack of pick up games applies only to soccer though. Other than maybe basketball, I don’t see kids playing any pickup games these days (whereas in my youth, we played pick up games of whatever sports was in season, every day). They have faded in favor of organized…

I think he just threw away the foreskins

Summitt Mounts, Peaks

Fuck me, this is the first comment to make me actually laugh out loud in a while. 

+2 legit

Fun fact: “The Touching is, To Me, Off Limits,” was the original title of MC Hammer’s 1990 breakthrough single. 

I knew once Deadspin started covering fucking soccer that fencing couldn’t be far behind. 

Does she have sisters named Hemi-Leigh and Semi-Leigh?

Dude out here thinking he's a punter

• FELL OFF TOILET, FELL ONTO A MOUSE TRAP, TRAP CLOSED ON PENIS

How do you leave Counting Crows out of that? Gen X, my ass. 

Why are you calling his dreads a weave? That’s just odd. Are you attempting to mock blackness in general?

OH GREAT, another berth. Just what the Rivers household needs!

A congenital cyst of the brain sounds serious, I’m amazed he could coach successfully as long as he did. Although Jim Harbaugh is going strong, too, and he’s had an inflamed asshole for years now.

He actually resigned several weeks ago, but he didn’t think he had to report it to the school.