I can hear his voice reading that. Bravo. 

“The food was indifferent, but the hookers were phenomenal. If you’re ever in {redacted}, be sure to stop in at {redacted} and get your dick wet.” ~ Anthony Bourdain, Some Reservations

Fun fact: The Miami “Hollywood” sign only exists in movies and is only like 5 feet tall. No such structure in the real Miami.

Bad Boys for Lif3.

Another detail that makes it an even better metaphor is the fact that that scene is a rip-off (or homage, if you’re charitable) of a scene from Police Story, but dialed up to 11 with an exponentially larger budget and extended way too long. The early 2000s was the prime era of taking influence or even stars from…

The fact that there’s a single poop joke in a movie with that trailer is the reason this is a January release.

They quote Bay Boys’ iconic shot of a plane

Loved him in Zodiac. “Hey ‘Bullitt’! You gonna catch this fuckin’ guy or what?!”

Sadly, Joe Piscopo is actually Jacob Scipio’s non-union American equivalent...

Yeah, that was probably the single most bafflingly bombastic and self-serious trailer I’ve ever seen for a family adventure-comedy.

I have a simple rule: I see a trailer with a song as awful as whatever that version of “What a Wonderful World” is, I don’t watch the movie. 

How do you not save the title Bad Boys 4 Life until the fourth movie!?! Come on Hollywood get your shit together. 

At one point, Mike takes a heavy-duty meat tenderizer to the knuckles of a Tesla-driving informant played by DJ Khaled, who is billed as “Khaled (DJ Khaled) Khaled” in the opening credits.

a climactic chase in which a screaming yellow Hummer crashes through a shantytown, obliterating everything in its path

“The plot is set into motion by the arrival of Armando (Jacob Scipio), the son of a Mexican drug kingpin that Mike put away back in the ’90s.”

Saw in person and though the premise is neat the actual thing varied from meh looks like another BMW to WTF(see above hood pic). At least not as vulgar as the new 4 series grille.

I think this is one of the most beautiful cars ever made. Not the most dynamic or showy, obviously but the fact that it’s a nearly 30yr old design and still looks SO good is a testament to the timelessness of the 90's ferraris. 

I loved this thing when it came out (even though I was 16) because it screamed “Ferrari and I can bring my friends!” My friends were all like “Diablo!” and “Testarossa” but I was the weird saying “Yeah, but 456!”

It’s worth $60K just to sit in that interior, running or not.

It wouldn’t be my choice if I were looking to spend $60k on a GT. I’d be looking at DB9s. It also wouldn’t be my choice if I were looking to spend $60k on a Ferrari. I’d be looking at something more iconic, like a 308GTS or a 355.