I feel like there's a House Hunters joke here somewhere, I'm just not the man to find it.

Too many unknowns! We're going to have to use calculus to solve this equation.

Don't bother with director's commentary. It's just a lot of low rustling/mumbling/gurgling noises.

…just when you thought it was safe to go back into the internet.

It's a remake of The Pagemaster.

Every douchebag I've ever known quoted Glengarry Glen Ross relentlessly. If those same douchebags quote this, I think the world may actually be a slightly better place.

My costume for watching season two hasn't changed at all. (underwear and dorito dust)

"And it's Beyonce that must be ruining the gays!"- Mike Huckabee's asshole, the most prolific sphincter on his person.

Geesh— SPOILER ALERT.

Best quote from the entire run of the show: "Eddie's goose-stepping like a hot dog Hitler!"

The only upsetting number of pancakes is zero pancakes.

"Human Excrement plagued by rogue Jimmy Buffet concert"

Once you've had It you'll never want anything else. Except for when you get tired of It.

No Van Halen? How does he hope to get Putin's respect without Van Halen? Trump would have Van Halen. He's met Van Halen, they went to his birthday party. Do you want to know their phone number?

Isn't it awfully nice to have a… carrot? *wink*

For me it's either this one of "Touch of Satan." I find that those are typically the most accessible for newbies.

That whole episode is just fantastic.

The Internet: "Sesame Street is going to HBO, this is terrible!"

The only version of Fantastic Four that I want to see would be directed by Andy Sidaris.

The only version of Fantastic Four that I want to see would be directed by Andy Sidaris.