Ten bucks says this movie gets old-yellered before the first day of shooting.

Arby's is like eating people without effort.

Finally, an ad service that caters to me, the guy too lazy to go to the living room and watch tv.

Smooth move, Netflix.

I rarely even have a "take yourself to work day," and I'm happy as a clam.

"EETS NOTAH TU-MAH!"

If this was the rafters of the new Conan movie then you would probably have to bunk with Arnie. He's going through a rough patch.

"Jesse, my love for you is gone. I'm taking the twins and moving in with my mother."

Well, then, I'm on board.

[insert Castaway joke here]

He shouldn't have made it this far.

They're usually written on the inside of a thrice-used paper bag.

Stop telling us what to do. Who do you think you are, Elrond Hubbard?

Tommy Wiseau would have named it "O hai."

I've liked Green Day all the waaaaaay back. Even when they were two separate projects, Yellow Day and Blue Day. In fact, those days are really primary for me. Their Green Day stuff will always be secondary to their early work, at least in my wheelhouse, anyway.

Missed naming opportunity: "Bass Ackwards." Pitchline: "It's always the right time to wear the wrong thing."

Mister Mister…

He's like everyone's grumpy, estranged great uncle. That solves crimes.

If they had they ability to retrieve things from the 70's, Clu Gulager would be in something by now.

When they were passing out first names they accidentally dealt him twice.