Emma Watson was excruciatingly awkward. Brilliant.

Ha! Yes! English people think the fact that my name now ends in "ez" is *spectacularly* exotic.

I have a (not close) friend who ALWAYS does this. Whatever bad thing happens in the world, it affects her especially for x reason. At first I felt really sympathetic for her, but then I realised she does it *every time*. She *always* finds a way to connect herself to *everything* — car crash, tsunami, cancer, etc. …

Camping would be WRETCHED there. When I've gone, we always rented a house in Palm Springs (or nearby) – if you book early and overcrowd it enough, and are willing to be relatively well behaved so you don't lose your deposit, it works. You can be clean and comfortable and have a swimming pool and hot tub, then go to…

Yeah, don't the actually famous people wee in the artist bit, not the VIP/media/anyone-who-passed-their-one-spare-VIP-wristband-through-the-fence bit?

She and her husband were the other day snogging in an alley mere feet from where I'm sitting right now, according to my friend Martha, who was exceedingly excited to have witnessed it. And then they "leapt into a car".

I just laughed really loudly and people want me to explain. I'm currently doing a serious face and typing intensely to look like I'm too busy to chat, but actually I'm just typing this comment.

I shot Coachella twice (including the Prince time) and the third year I absolutely was not under any circumstances going to go.

I'm know I'm verging wildly off topic, but I find it really interesting that in the US people quite often brought up the "fact" that I was dating outside my race (I'm white, he's latino) but now I'm back home in England no one ever does – I asked around, and everyone I spoke to here just said "people from Central…

Looking at all the kids my ancestors had freaks me out. Some of those women were popping out babies from 19 to 50 (or till they died, quite often).

I was super angry until I got to the banana part and then I realised that the world actually *is* a good place despite all the cuntiness.

True, true, true and true. Brilliant.

Ahhh! Wonderful.

My friend rented a cinema for her 30th so we could watch this. It was AMAZING. I had no idea how hilarious it is, because my childhood memory of it is that it was terrifying. So, so, so good.

I went upstairs at a Swarovski shop once and sat on a crystal-covered sofa that apparently costs £60,000.

I was taught to deflect compliments growing up in England, then told off a lot for "not knowing how to take a compliment" in California. My friends would actually get angry about me being "so down on myself". I think I'm now comfortably in between the two, which means my (English) mum now thinks that I'm "full of…

Also, I just remembered that my (American) husband tries to say "fire" like me and it's hilarious. He just can't make his mouth do that.

On the other hand, I find my friends tiny kids even cuter because of their American accents!

It's funny how some bits you can adapt to but others you can't… after years in California some of my words had slid towards sounding pretty American ("pretty" sounds a bit like "priddy" when I say it now, even though I'm back home in London) but others ("water", for example) were just too different to ever get even…

(I always dressed like a pale English photographer carrying too much stuff and wearing sensible shoes. But my friends would put a lot of thought and shopping time into their Coachella outfits. It's the social weekend of the year for them.)