I never, ever dressed like a super adorable hippie when at Coachella. Plenty of the girls who dress like super adorable hippies at Coachella actually dress that way all the time but just add a few more feathers. There were so many girls dressing that way around LA a few years ago (one of my friends memorably used the…

I sometimes worry that I will fuck up my future kids by talking to them like I talk to everyone else.

Yep. My friends do this all the time.

When I was really little I thought that girls had tummies and boys had bellies and adults had stomachs. (Totally tangential, but my friend's toddler recently said that he's "not a boy" because "boys have willies and I have a princess".)

I was trying to buy an underwear set in Los Angeles a few months ago and they had the bra and the suspender belt on display but not the knickers.

I love that "reckon" makes people think of westerns. I say it all the time and never thought anything of it (except that it's a bit more casual than "suppose", I suppose) but then I went to America and suddenly people thought I was charming for it.

Americans thought I was crazy for saying cunt as much as I do. It's not at all unusual in my London life, but in LA they though I was just really wild.

I used to have a hard time being understood in the US because I'm English… My name always got mangled because my surname ends in an R but my pronunciation makes it sounds like there's no R to people who are used to rhotic accents (plus, I had to learn that hardly anyone understood me when I said "surname"). Most…

Restroom is far too euphemistic and American for me, but I don't really say toilet, either. I've always just said loo, I think.

And, my American friends enjoyed the English phrase "bum a fag" very much.

It's HILARIOUS when someone's American grandma – or a cutesy little American kid – says "fanny" and thinks they're being all sweet.

That is truly glorious.

I'd never pined for a wedding or anything, but I couldn't live with my bloke unless we got married (he's an exotic foreign type), and in the end I actually really liked the whole thing, event planning and name changing and all. I enjoyed the wedding like I enjoyed my lovely friends' lovely weddings (except more) and I…

I can barely remember any French or Russian and haven't tried to use either for years, but GOD they come back whenever I try to remember a word in Spanish (which I'm currently studying). It's like my brain can only cope with two languages: English and Foreignthings.

I hadn't thought of it like that; I like it.

Me neither. I'm much faster in joined-up (plus it looks pretty and makes me happier).

I get compliments on mine, too. I spent years practising – in my first year at uni I used to spend hours sitting in the library copying random passages from random books for fun because I hated my flatmates and writing beautifully calmed me down. Then I learnt Russian and every Russian I ever met had insanely gorgeous…

Is "presidente" for a woman now totally old fashioned? I learnt it as unisex but that was a million years ago. Does it depend on the country at all? (I'm Googling but can't see a clear answer.)