Don’t worry – we’re just English, we just sound mean by default ;)

Me! I’m due in November and so far everything’s fine (my yoga teacher’s been using me as the example of a dream pregnancy, apparently) so I’m fully expecting some sort of unforeseen drama to occur any second.

I know statistically it’ll probably all work out as planned, but just in case you *do* arrive late to Heathrow, don’t worry – it’s not the worst place in the world! I’ve spent many happy (honestly, happy!) hours at Heathrow. And people missing their connections is totally normal, so the Heathrow staff and…

Los Angeles is stressful in terms of getting anywhere – traffic is terrible, parking is terrible, public transport is terrible, and it’s often not feasible to walk places. I lived there for nearly a decade and can’t drive, and made it work, though. I’m from London so, for me, it’s really stressful that I can’t just…

God, how I’d love a bedroom big enough to fit a crib in it.

In our flat, she’d have to be in the bed or on top of the drawers!

I did Brazillian – it was a special deal, or else the £££ would’ve been bananas!

Lasers have been AMAZING for me. I didn’t even finish the course yet and I have so few hairs (legs, bikini, underarms) that I don’t bother shaving anymore.

Me too – my husband started earning more than me when I was 32; he was 28.

I hope so – we don’t have a bedroom for our future kid, so she’s going to be shoved in a corner of the living room!

My kiddo isn’t due till November, but I’m really worried about this – not because either way would be better or worse for the baby, or me, but for our neighbours. We chose to bring a tiny crying banshee into our lives, and they didn’t – it’s massively unfair to them to have to hear screaming all the time. Yikes!

Exactly! When people would say they “found a lump”, I was always thinking “BUT BREASTS ARE MADE ENTIRELY OF LUMPS”.

God, now I’m envisioning my boobs being *visibly* lumpy. YIKES.

You have no idea how great it is to hear that other people have lumpy boobs! I could never figure out how you were supposed to be able to feel problems yourself because my boobs just feel SO LUMPY EVERYWHERE. I asked a doctor about that once and she just said that’s quite normal… but it’s so great to read someone else…

I just bought some because I a) needed maternity jeans and b) am going to a place with mosquitos and apparently they prefer dark colours, which is everything I usually wear. It was a panic buy, I would never usually have done it.

I used to live five minutes from a restaurant where the chef had the exact same name as me – I commuted past it every day. (But then I got married and double-barrelled my name – now I can choose to be very anonymous, with my first name and either of my last names, or very not anonymous, with the whole thing.)

I can be even whiter and say that it’s typed as not three separate dots but one character that contains three dots! Always […] and never [...]

Right?! My HR and I were just sighing over how massively rubbish maternity pay is here – only 90 per cent of your salary for the first six weeks and then around £400/£500 per month after for the next 30-something weeks.

It’s not abnormal here to wait till the end to find out the sex, so in reality I don’t think anyone will mind not knowing.

I’m going to find out because I want to know AND THEN LIE AND TELL EVERYONE ELSE THAT I DIDN’T. Those people would probably burn me at the stake.